10 Things I Learned from my Mom

I've learned so much from my mother over the years, but certain things really stand out as stuff SHE, in particular, taught me. I've also realized since becoming an adult myself, that all mothers don't teach their daughters these things. As I've read more on the internet, read more organizational strategies for stay-at-home-moms, listened to my friends' struggles, etc., I've begun to realize what a tremendous wealth my mother has given to me through her life of faith, her specific lessons on various domestic duties, and her many informal discussions with me.

As I think through my current life with all its duties and delights (husband, preschooler, twin toddlers, house to care for, etc.), 10 lessons really stand out. These are the top 10 things my mother has imparted to me throughout my 30+ years of life that I daily use/ponder/enjoy. Of course there are many other things, perhaps more spiritual things, but I tried not to overspiritualize this or make it more profound than it sounds. Sometimes, a simple technique for ironing really can enrich your life :). Without further ado (and in no particular order):

1. Weekly grocery shopping list/menu. Apparently, many women do not make up a weekly menu or even a grocery list. How you can live without these simple organizational tools, I do not know. Really, I don't. It seems so self-evident to me. But, then again, that's because I have so many memories of casual conversations with my mother about what we were going to eat during the coming week. What meat was on sale and therefore, what would go well with that roast or ham? Then, she'd make up her list.
2. Eat your veggies! Again, when I read suggestions for how to eat healthily, I am astounded that people don't already know these things and follow them without really thinking about them. Sure, I try to maximize nutrition because I'm a bit of a health nut, but in reality, I could never, ever plan a meal without some sort of vegetable side. This is not just because I love to plan nutritious meals; it's because my mother cooked that way! We always had fruit at breakfast and lunch and generally two vegetable sides at dinner. These weren't exotic; I never tasted butternut squash until after I'd graduated from college. I didn't learn to like green peppers until I was in college. I still do not like eggplant or raw tomatoes. But, I really, truly enjoy so many other vegetables, largely thanks to my Mom.
   
3. The most efficient way to iron a button down shirt. (someday I'll post this method.)
   
4. Laundry: Most people seem to learn this by trial and error in college. I, however, have breezed through my laundry career with very few pink loads of formerly white clothes. I can remember vivid examples in the past year, but for some reason, until I had children and all extra brain cells went to combat fatigue, I'd never turned a load of clothes into a different color.This is because my mother taught me how to to do laundry.
   
5. An appreciation for classical music. This, to me, is the ideal calming background music. But it's also something to savor and enjoy. This is what was always on in our house growing up.
6. Keeping up with current events. This is something I'm particularly poor at right now, but I feel guilty about it! Not because my neighbors are very into current events, not even because my husband has strong opinions. I feel guilty because in my mind, all good wives and mothers should also be able to to vote intelligently; after all, my mother always did.
7. Not complaining when following your husband's call. Perhaps my mother complained out of our presence--I don't know, but I have come to greatly admire her lack of complaining, especially from my memory of our time in a rental house. My dad was church planting in North Carolina, and for five years we lived in a rental house. Looking back now, with a renewed appreciation of my mother's innate aesthetic sense, that house must have been hard to live in--pretty plain to start with and limited opportunities for improvement. We did take down the lion/safari curtains in one room, but that's about it.... I'm sure there have been many times in her life where supporting my dad in ministry has led her into situations she'd rather not have gone (maybe the frequent nursery duty wasn't her cup of tea; I'll never know because she didn't complain). This following of my dad's call has also led her to some pretty cool places--New Zealand, Israel, Uganda.
   
8. Using your gifts to enrich your children's lives. Even though my mother has much higher standards of cleanliness than I do currently, I still remember her playing with us so much more than I feel like I do with my own kids! She must have cleaned house, but I remember her enriching our lives instead. And, not only play, but draw!! She's an artist and would draw pages of flowers for us to color--we liked hers much better than any coloring book. She painted a big mural on our bedroom wall of a tree with an orange cat in it. She made or helped us make great Halloween costumes when we were little. Her creativity even extended to "surprise lunches."
   
9. Laughter/Enjoyment. My mom used to ask us to "wash" the outside windows. That meant: get our swimsuits on, get the hose out, and get a big bucket of soapy water. Great fun. She laughs a lot when she's with my children--reminding me in the process without speaking a word to enjoy them as much as possible.
10. Critical Thinking Skills. Perhaps some people think you're supposed to learn this in school. But, if you have a mother who enjoys discussing issues, faith, circumstances, new information in the news, then you're already developing and using critical thinking skills without needing school to teach them to you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Small Object Stuck in Child's Nostril?

I heard an ingenious trick from one of my Bible study friends for getting small objects out of children's nostrils. If your child hasn't tried to stick a bead, pea, or other similar object up his or her nose, just wait!

I got the opportunity to try this earlier tonight and was amazed at how fast it worked and how painless it is (compared to sticking something up the nostril in chase of said object--bad idea).

Simply block the other nostril with your finger and blow hard in the child's mouth (think, mouth to mouth resuscitation here). The object will quickly fly out! File this tip away in your mental emergency medical file.

Internet Sabbatical

The internet is a tricky thing. There are some wonderful tools available via cyber-space, some of which I've become much more dependent on since I've had young children in the house. I order clothes for our family from clearance sites on line, work on my digital photo books without having to worry that little Johnny will tear up a priceless photo, do all banking online and schedule all bill payments so they don't get lost in the shuffle, email someone who's now living in Germany, etc.

However, the internet can be such a time drain!!!! When Carrie and I started this blog, I had three napping children in the afternoon, two nappers in the morning, and only 1 mobile child. Now, I have three very mobile children, no morning nappers, and 2 afternoon nappers (and 1 child who is awake all day...). In addition to that, we've combined our computer with our TV, so my time on the computer is non-existent in the evening.

All of that is fine, except that it's easy to follow rabbit trails through cyber-space, read fascinating blogs, write up random blog posts when I have time, and so forth...often when I should be doing something a bit more constructive. I've written this week about some tools of the digital world that I find very useful, but today I'm going to commit to an internet sabbatical: the entire month of May.

Why a sabbatical? Because as we all know, the internet turns your little internal clock off. You can sit down "for a minute" and an hour is gone by instantly. I do not have time for those precious hours to slip by anymore. There are better things for me to do: right things for me to do. The internet is not wrong, but I don't need to spend as much time on it as I do. How much time do I spend on the computer? Probably only an hour or two a day. However, that precious hour or two during kids' naptime (and 1 child's quiet time) is the only time I have now to communicate with long-distance friends, to work on projects that are best done when children are out of the way, to have my quiet time, etc. Those are more important than reading someone's blog I don't know or finding yet another fabulous recipe.

Why a sabbatical, though? Why not just limit my use? Well, I'm curious to see how many things I'll get done and how much better my life will be! I'm trying to talk my husband into a media fast in general (from TV and movies). We'll see if I can convince him. I doubt it. But maybe we can limit our watching to once a week. There are so many more worthwhile things to be doing, especially when the weather is nice. There are books we want to read, hikes we want to take, art projects to do with the kids, and so forth. So, consider this an experiment.

I can't go entirely without the internet because there are some people with whom I only communicate via email (aforementioned friend in Germany) and we bank with an online bank. However, I am committing to the following: no new blog posts (some are already scheduled), no reading of other people's blogs (sigh), checking email only once a day, no surfing the web for a new recipe, etc. What can I do online during my internet sabbatical? Balance my bank account, pull up a recipe I already know exists on my food blog, check my email once a day, and that's about it. I meant to have this post published first thing this morning (May 1st), but life interrupted that plan.

So, you'll be hearing few thoughts from me this month--Carrie has been quite busy herself, so TT may be a quiet place for the next few weeks. Feel free to subscribe and then you'll automatically get the next post without having to check back in.

Select Ringtones: Another Nice Digital Tool

OK, I admit, the select ringtones for certain callers can get a bit ridiculous. We now have a phone that talks to us and says, "Call from ..." Crazy, huh?

However, I've come to realize that, with young children around especially, the select ringtones and other audible information telling me who's calling are invaluable tools. We have assigned rings for each of our cell phones, our parents, and our siblings. That way, if one of those people calls, I know automatically who it is, along with two other important things: I can answer and still deal with my children; I can call them back right away without even listening to a message if I'm changing a diaper and just can't get to the phone (I have all those numbers memorized and they're also stored in the phone). It's been a big help to me, simply knowing which phone calls are a bit more high priority and which ones are on the lesser end. (No offense to non family out there!)

Another terrific feature on our old phones was a "do not disturb" feature--it would silence not only the ringer, but the answering machine as well, all with the touch of one button. If Mommy needed to grab a quick catnap, that one button silenced it all for the duration of the nap.

Cell phones can be a help, too, because they can be carried outside and around the house more easily than a regular phone.

Don't be tied to your phone. But do recognize the tools available now that will let you make better choices about when/if to interrupt your time with your family.

Del.icio.us: Bookmarking Websites Online

I've heard of this website frequently--it's often listed at the bottom of a webpage or a blog post: "bookmark me on del.icio.us" or something to that effect. I ignored it.

Until recently.... I checked it out and realized the amazing potential to streamline my "online" time when it's not convenient for me to surf the web. There are other sites out there that do similar things (technorati, stumble upon, and others); I've just not checked them out yet.

Here's what del.icio.us does for me: it's a place online to store bookmarks--you know, you find a web page that looks interesting, has a good recipe on it, is a friend's blog, etc. and you don't want to lose the address. You can "bookmark" it through your browser. Well, if you're like me, suddenly the bookmarks in your browser's tool bar are extensive. A problem: if you're at someone else's house or at a different computer, you don't have access to them! Del.icio.us solves that problem by storing your bookmarks in cyberspace; you can access them anywhere you can access the internet.

How else is it helpful? Other people can view your bookmarks and you can view theirs, should you choose to do so.

Biggest benefit? You get a website link in an email from a friend--you're supposed to be checking your email QUICKLY and shouldn't be browsing around.... Just bookmark the site on del.icio.us! Find an interesting blog? A enticing recipe? Comparing camera prices? Bookmark those sites! You can categorize ("tag") your bookmarks however is helpful to you, so they'll be easy to find again.... WHEN YOU HAVE TIME.

Now, when I see something interesting in a blog, I don't have to follow the rabbit trail. I just bookmark it, knowing it's there when/if I have time. In the meantime, I will focus on the real live people in front of me who need me in the flesh. The internet can always wait.

Digital Scrapbooking

Carrie is the artsy one of the two of us. She has amazing scrapbooks she's created. I, on the other hand, have some old photo albums, boxes of photos that have never been put in a book, and a million digital pictures on my computer. (actually, during my big de-cluttering experience this past month, I'm proud to say most of the pictures are now in an album....)

My solution: digital photobooks. They're quick, they're creative, and they're a terrific birthday gift idea. I just did one for each of my twins (they turned 2 on April 18). Kids love to get books as presents; it's even more fun to get one of yourself! I do a basic book from the past year, beginning with the previous birthday. It's okay if the book gets a little "loved" on the big opening day because the book is saved on the internet and my pictures are saved on the computer. If a disaster happens, I can re-order one.

This is one way the digital revolution has helped simplify my life! The catch: not to get too involved in creating the perfect book in such a way that it takes away from the here and now time with my children. Tools of the trade: most sites that develop digital photos also do digital books these days. I've used Walgreen's and Shutterfly most recently and both have been good.

The Digital Revolution: Helping or Hurting?

Has the digital revolution helped us or hurt us? I have a friend right now in Vanuatu (island in the South Pacific) with Peace Corps; she has very little internet access and is living in a situation that involves a generator turning on/off through the day for electricity. No doubt, she is getting a good feel for the ways in which technology has helped/hurt us!

It is easy to get "sucked in" to digital technology in one form or another (TV, computer, internet, video games, etc.). Sometimes, it's easy to see where it is harmful (TV shows or movies with sinful/harmful content, video games that involve tremendous violence, etc.).

What about those more nebulous areas: "surfing" the net to find a better deal on the camera you hope to buy soon, checking out 5 different versions of a chicken pot pie recipe to determine which would be the best, browsing an interesting blog that is providing all kinds of tips and tricks to simplify household living, letting your children watch "The Wiggles," buying items through amazon to save money, scrapbooking, balancing your checkbook via online bank statements, "catching up" with people via facebook, etc.

We can usually justify these types of activities in the general interest of our household. But are they really helping? I've begun trying to evaluate these types of activities, particularly in light of my recent new criterion for children's toys. I think the same can be said of our own activities, especially those of who are wives or mothers: does this activity lend itself to any sort of community experience or is it, by its very nature, limited to a solo participant? Just because an activity might be limited to a solo participant doesn't automatically rule it out; however, it does make me think twice about too much of it during a time of day when I should be spending time with children/husband. I'm trying to limit solo activity (most of the examples above fall into this category; if it's related to the computer/internet, it's usually a solo activity) to kids' naptime and early morning prep time (when no one else is awake). This is not absolute. I check my email throughout the day, pull up a recipe to make dinner from, etc. But I try to save the digital photobook, the search for a new recipe, the blog post to write, the checkbook balancing, and so forth for times when I'm not needed in a relational sense.

This week I'm going to highlight several digital tools that can actually help us manage our time better--particularly when it comes to the internet.

My March Uncluttering Project ...

...has continued into April. But, that's okay--the results are worth it! My counters and dining room table got temporarily worse, much worse, but my closets and attic spaces are more usable and the "stuff" lurking in plain sight will soon be banished to its rightful, easily accessed spot behind closed doors.

In the process of decluttering my house, I've learned some VERY important lessons--ones I hope I never forget.

1. My husband and I have a unique style.

This is a very important lesson to grasp. We often see something in our friends' houses (or our parents' or in a magazine) that we like or think looks neat. It's taken us a while to realize that those things look good partly because they fit the friend's style; the house sort of "works." Too much eclecticism can be a bad thing (bad in the sense of clutter). So, we've really begun choosing items that we enjoy and that also sort of work with our "look" rather than trying to mimic lots of different approaches. We've also tried, in our current house, to really "go with the house"--to decorate in a way that fits the needs/look of this particular house. And... we're starting to get rid of stuff that doesn't work for us, stuff we just don't quite like!

2. Decluttering fits basic design principles.

My mother, being an artist, has a good eye for things in general. I often consult her opinion. Even though we don't always like the same things/colors, I still consult her on how to group things, where something might look best on a wall, and so forth; good design principles fit a multitude of different "looks." Rarely does a cluttered house fit any sense of good design principles.

3. The fewer possessions you have, generally speaking, the more you'll treasure them.

For confirmation of this, just watch your kids play with a toy for 15 minutes, toss it aside and pick up another one, repeat, repeat, repeat. Now, give them one or two toys and see what happens. All day the same toys get played with (or your children get much more creative which is always beneficial to their little brains). We still have too many toys, but I'm learning and being much more picky about what we buy/keep.

4. The fewer possessions you have, the more they will be noticed.

If you have only one set of nice canisters on your kitchen counter instead of a blender, toaster, knife block, utensil crock, coffeemaker, etc., people will notice the canisters when they walk in. If you have the big lineup, they'll just notice a general cluttered look. We removed just a blender from a similar lineup above and even that small change made a big difference. I'm still figuring out a working system for our kitchen counters, but that small change has given me hope!

5. Take a picture to give you a good feel for the way your house looks to visitors:

take a photo of a room, a counter, a closet, whatever. Let it sit for a day or two or even a week. Then, look at that picture. You will notice the "first impression" of that space much more than you usually do. We frequently develop selective blinders to clutter that has "always been there," don't we? We just don't even see it anymore. Taking a picture will show you a bit more of an objective view, especially in regards to overall feel.

6. Decluttering is good for our kids.

Check out this little article/blog post from unclutterer.com.

7. Decluttering is good for the budget.

I made more than $100 at a consignment sale on old kids' clothes. I think twice now when I buy stuff, wondering where it's going to go and if we really need it. We pay bills on time because we streamlined that process. I borrow more, lend more, and don't subscribe to magazines I can get online for free!

8. Decluttering is good for your marriage.

Our bedroom looks much more like a restful retreat. We're not tripping over stuff in the study, which only caused frustration that sometimes spilled out onto the other person. Less clutter in the house means less stress overall. We can find things we need a little easier.

9. Decluttering is good for the environment.

I gave away or sold lots of stuff that might otherwise have ended up in the trash after lingering so long, unused, in our closets that it was moth-eaten or too out of date. I try not to buy what I don't need. I use more natural cleaning supplies (like simple green) partly because I can use the same product on everything and have fewer cleaning bottles lying around.

10. Decluttering is good for the soul.

I mean that a bit tongue in cheek, but it is true nonetheless. In small ways: I finally framed some art we bought on our honeymoon (6 1/2 years ago), and it brings much joy to finally see it on the wall and remember such a special time in our lives (instead of carefully moving the rolled up piece of art around on my closet shelves). I have a space again in which to read my Bible in the mornings. I feel more rested living in uncluttered spaces.

Am I done? No. Will people coming over notice much difference? Not yet, but it's coming! But, my habits are changing which is good. I'm enjoying our house more. I have a bit more time for my kids/husband. It's a great process. It took over my life for a bit, but I'm at a point now where I can continue and live life normally at the same time. I noticed this past weekend during our boys' birthday party that it was easier to put up my sewing projects and other paraphernalia because there was a place for them in the closets! (I also realized how far we still have to go, but the point is: we're making progress!)

Mother's Day: A Bittersweet Note

In a commercially driven society such as ours, retailers never miss an opportunity to lure you into their stores, into buying their products, and into needing another occasion to give a gift. With Easter just behind us, merchants are quickly selling off excess Easter-related products (sale! clearance!) and promoting the next gift-giving holiday: Mother's Day. Signs announce "Mother's Day gifts!" and "Get Mom what she wants" and "Make your mom happy" and so forth.

What if the only gift some moms want is their baby back? I remember Carrie saying after one of her miscarriages that every where she went, she saw reminders of her recent loss: babies in mother's arms, baby clothes, and the like. Many women are seeing fresh reminders of their loss as stores loudly proclaim "Mother's Day." I would like to remind those reading this blog to pray for women who've recently lost children--unborn and infants in particular. This will be a bittersweet season for them, particularly if they do not have any other children at home in whom to take comfort. Carrie wrote a terrific post a while back about part of her struggle. She reminded me today that those of us who are "spectators" to another person's trial or loss (in any area) often forget or "move on" after three weeks or so, but the person in the midst of the trial is still struggling and still needs encouraging. If you know a women who has lost a child--particularly if this will be the first mother's day since that loss--don't forget to pray for her and send her a word of encouragement during these next few weeks.

If you don't know of any personally, you might consider praying for one (or all) of the following--all of whom are friends of mine or sisters-in-law of friends of mine and all of whom have lost a child (or two) since this time last year:

• Z in her third pregnancy this year--doctors aren't optimistic this time either
• C's sister-in-law lost her 5 month old to SIDS 2 weeks ago
• K's sister-in-law lost her baby at 37 weeks in August
• B lost her twins mid-way through her pregnancy just before Easter

Too Many Choices

I've been thinking for a long time that too many choices just complicate life instead of making it easier/better (part of my spring cleaning motivation). Neil Postman addresses this a bit in his Amusing Ourselves to Death with regard to information in general: is more always better? Do people in Juneau, Alaska really need to know the daily news of, say, Plano, Texas?

The other day, I heard a fascinating segment on Fresh Air (an NPR news show that comes on during lunchtime). The person being interviewed was Jonah Lehrer, author of the blog The Frontal Cortex. He was discussing his latest book about decision-making (spurred by his experience of spending 30 minutes in the cereal aisle trying to ascertain exactly which box of Cheerios should end up in his cart). To very briefly sum up, Lehrer was pointing out that we can only hold about 7 pieces of information in our brains (our decision-making parts) at any one time. More information and our decision making ability is compromised. Interesting, eh? Completely confirmed my conclusion that I had too many options in life.

What am I doing about this for myself and my family? Removing some options that are definitely sub-par. For instance, when I look at the approximately 50 books in my daughter's room (this does not count the entire bookcase full of children's books in the hallway or the two shelves downstairs of children's books or the ones in my sons' room or the ones available in the local library...), I immediately see some sub-par books (inferior illustrations, questionable "teaching" or "message," boring, etc.). Why are they still there, clogging the decision on what to read, when there are so many worthwhile options next to them on the shelves? So, I got rid of them (gasp! I got rid of some books!).

Another example: my cookbooks.... Until a few weeks ago, I owned at least 40. I haven't counted up yet, but I've gotten rid of several and more are up in the attic. There's no reason I need to look at 500 recipes for cooking green beans when a comparison of perhaps 5 would serve my needs just fine (or even just one from a trustworthy source).

Another example: to which activities do I need to take my children? All these supposed "enrichment opportunities" can only enhance their lives, right? Wrong. We go to one Bible study (that has classes for the kids) and that's it. Our only scheduled weekly activity. What else do we do? Go to the gym (for Mommy!), hang out with friends, play outside, etc. We never run out of things to do. But these are not hard and fast commitments. We don't need tons of options!

What about clothes? Do you have more clothes than you need or even want? I do--there are lots of items that I hardly ever wear because I prefer other things. Same for my children. So, I'm getting rid of some of those unused, unwanted items. My closet is a bit more spare, but I like everything in it, and there are only a few options for any given occasion. Much simpler.

If you are overwhelmed by decisions in your life, how can you reduce that stress? If you are overwhelmed, there's a good chance your children are, too, and perhaps your spouse. Are the "options" worth the stress they might be causing?

Aaahh... Another Project

For some reason, I love taking on more than I can handle. Anyone else out there? I'm not content with the 7 loads of laundry, the endless need for vacuuming and mopping, the 3 meals a day to prepare and clean up after, the little children to supervise/bathe/read to/etc.

Oh no, that's not enough work for this little momma. I spent a good bit of March decluttering--a nice, useful project. I have a bit left to do, but instead of finishing it (or working in my neglected garden), I took on a sewing project! (or two or three)

Here is a picture of the little girl's purse I made which my 3-year-old LOVES. A friend of mine and I taught her 12-year-old to sew yesterday: skirts for her 1 1/2-year-old sister and my 3-year-old that match the purse (the 12-year-old took home material to make the purse at home, too). These were terrific starting projects--lots of little skills worked on, small enough to finish them, and the skirt, in particular, was very forgiving. I'm also in the middle of working on my kitchen window valances (I've lived in this house 3 1/2 years and am finally getting around to some long-planned window treatment/home improvement sewing). I'll post kitchen valance pictures when they're done.

Sewing with friends is a great way to hone your skills, fellowship, and do something for others! I have some cute gift ideas in mind for my own kids and their cousins for this coming Christmas. If I start now, they might be finished in time....

Savoring a Cup of Tea: Let Your Light Shine....

Our Bible study teacher reminded us this past Thursday that there's no excuse not to live as a Christian, especially in front of our own families. We often let PMS, lack of sleep, crying babies, whiny toddlers, bad day at work, long commutes to and fro, school-aged kids reminding us at the last minute, etc. act as an excuse for not "letting our lights shine." The people around us most are usually the recipients of our less-than-Christlike-behavior, aren't they?

In my Bonhoeffer study (The Cost of Discipleship) that I'm doing with a friend, he also talked about letting your light shine; Bonhoeffer pointed out that men will see our good works--NOT US--and that will point them to Christ. In other words, it's not so much us that will be noticed. We will not be noticed. It's not about us. It's about pointing people to Christ--they might see our patience, our regular tithing, our training of our children, our faithfulness to show up for work and be pointed heavenward.

On top of these reminders to let my light shine , even when I'm not feeling like it, so that others may be pointed to Christ (and to quit thinking of myself--even the sermon today was on humility), my Bible study discussion group leader on Thursday also had a comment about letting our lights shine. It really sums this post up:

Let your light shine... even when your fuse is blown.

Savoring a Cup of Tea: Whate'er My God Ordains is Right

This is one of my favorite hymns, and I really like the newer tune that's floating around. It's on a CD that my friend Sarah made for me; my daughter and I LOVE listening to it in the car. I have several friends who are currently undergoing some stormy times (two with cancer who are facing the end of treatment options, another whose husband just left for a time in Iraq, leaving her with their young children, etc.). This hymn is comforting in times like these, reminding us that no matter what, God is with us, sustaining us. The hymn is long, but worth reading (this version quoted below has two more verses than the version I usually sing/know).

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His holy will abideth;
I will be still whate’er He doth;
And follow where He guideth;
He is my God; though dark my road,
He holds me that I shall not fall:
Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He never will deceive me;
He leads me by the proper path:
I know He will not leave me.
I take, content, what He hath sent;
His hand can turn my griefs away,
And patiently I wait His day.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His loving thought attends me;
No poison can be in the cup
That my Physician sends me.
My God is true; each morn anew
I’ll trust His grace unending,
My life to Him commending.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He is my Friend and Father;
He suffers naught to do me harm,
Though many storms may gather,
Now I may know both joy and woe,
Some day I shall see clearly
That He hath loved me dearly.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Though now this cup, in drinking,
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it, all unshrinking.
My God is true; each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
And pain and sorrow shall depart.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Here shall my stand be taken;
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken.
My Father’s care is round me there;
He holds me that I shall not fall:
And so to Him I leave it all.

Daily Planner Round-Up

Below is a breakdown of the planner systems I think are worth noting; I focused on availability, cost, user-friendly-nature, and relevance to my own life. I encourage you to consider one of these if you're forgetting details, feeling harried and stressed because you're trying to remember too many things, or just need a simple calendar system. Before you look/commit, sit down and make a

list of what you'd really need in a dayplanner. How are you going to use it? Will it need to be portable enough for you to carry it around all day? Do you have a bag that can hold it? Do you need a cover/case for it? How much time are you willing to invest in creating this perfect planner? How much money do you have to spend on it? Etc. You might even "test drive" a spiral bound notebook, keeping notes for a few days on items you wish you had access to. The following are worth considering, my favorite being first:

• Busy Woman Planner (This is a Christian company, run by a woman who's taking care of a disabled daughter and diabetic grandson). PROS: Affordable, especially now--she's running some FABULOUS deals; fits into FranklinCovey planners/covers/binders; available in 3 sizes; daily page includes priorities, appointments (small hourly section), "to be called" section, chores, notes, prayer requests, and menu; devotional pages available that let you track your prayer requests, Scripture read, etc. (these look very helpful); month-at-a-glance pages;week-at-a-glance pages; budget pages; goal pages; menu pages WITH PERFORATED SHOPPING LIST SECTION!!!; lesson planning pages; Bible study pages; etc. etc. etc. Busy Woman also has software you can download that will let you simply print planner pages for a full-size or classic-size notebook/binder. CONS: you must date everything. The "notes" pages are lined and have columns--I prefer notes pages as blank as possible. The budget pages are pages only, no envelopes. The tabs for major divisions (planning, contacts, notes, etc.) aren't any bigger than the month and ABC tabs which makes them a bit hard to find. There aren't any zippered binders for sale through this company.
• FranklinCovey: PROS: widely available, even in cheaper versions (like 365 at Target); many options to customize your planner; multiple sizes available; spiral or ring-bound options; budget pages include envelopes if you're saving receipts; health/fitness tracker page which is neat; daily pages have a myriad options/formats/colors/themes available (I liked the Simplicity series personally); there's a handy calculator that fits my planner; larger section tabs are easy to find. They even have blank notes pages--not even lined! CONS: They didn't have a daily page exactly like what I wanted (believe it or not). This can be an expensive planner to create from scratch. The menu/grocery list page was a little too scripted for my tastes.
• MomAgenda: Looks like a good possibility for moms juggling several schedules at once (kids going different places and the like). It didn't look as infinitely customizable as the first two listed here, but it might be worth checking out (it didn't immediately grab me, so I moved on to other sites).
• The Uncalendar: This is an interesting system involving blank charts, lists, and graphs that you can entirely customize. It didn't have a daily page, but the rest of it looks very interesting--particularly if you just aren't finding what you want elsewhere, but don't want to create something to print out from your own computer. There are multiple sizes and binding options.
• LifeTime Organizer by Weber Associates: My friend Bridgette uses this system and have really enjoyed it. There are several sizes available and the pages give you several options for filling them in (kind of like Uncalendar--lots of boxes that aren't all labeled). The main reason I didn't pursue this further is because it was more expensive than I wanted for start-up costs (I already had my FC binder from Target and would have had to get another one from LifeTime). One particularly nice feature, in addition to the customization available, is the "floating to do list" which moves with you from day to day.
• Cheap: For years, the following worked for me: a basic wall calendar and a mini spiral bound notebook (I put grocery lists, event notes, random notes, contact info, etc. in it while I was out and about...).
• and Cheaper (Free): If you're on the computer a lot, you might consider taking full advantage of Gmail/Google calendar. It's a terrific, free, internet-based system that you can have access to anywhere you have internet access (home, work, etc.). You can create different calendars, assign them all a color, and view them all at once or individually. My friend Bridgette has a calendar for her son, her husband, and herself (and her weekly menu). She can view them all at once and tell what's what because they're all in different colors. Google Calendar can email you reminders and the like.

What's working for me now: a combination of FranklinCovey and Busy Woman: mostly Busy Woman stuff, but kept the FranklinCovey section dividers since they are bigger and more easily accessible. Next time I have to order "stuff," I'll try to get their unlined notes pages and perhaps their budget pages. I got the "Master Filler" set (Today's Busy Woman) for compact sizes and it includes the following: weekly planning pages, monthly planning pages, daily planning pages with above categories, address section, menu/grocery section, emergency info section, vehicle maintenance section, goal/planning pages, notes section, budget pages,.... there are some pages in cardstock and some in rainbow colors. A zippered pouch comes with it and each monthly planning page comes with a monthly goals page. It's a terrific bargain at only $11. Sure, I won't be using January or February, but the rest of year is still good! Since the pages aren't dated, I can use those next year and maybe there will be a sale next March. I also ordered the devotional pages. You should note that the master filler set includes 6 months' worth of daily pages, but a year's worth of monthly planning pages. I ordered two sets. I'll keep some in my desk and just keep a month's worth of everything at a time in my planner. I put the FC items I'm keeping and the BW new items in my inexpensive FranklinCovey leather binder from Target.

Next year, I may update my full size Control Journal that stays at home and put menu pages, devotional pages, and such in there--that will keep my traveling planner needs simpler. It's a work in progress, and as my own needs and those of my family change, that will no doubt necessitate a system upgrade at some point.

Daily Planner Quest

I used to sit down every morning with a cup of tea, my prayer journal, and my day planner. It was a wonderful time to get a head start on what needed to be done that day as well as spending some time in prayer. I kept it up faithfully for a year, beginning in December, 2007 (kids were 9 months, 9 months, and 2.2 years); it all "fell apart" when the time change happened this past November because the kids got up earlier. I'm taking advantage of the recent time change to put that habit back into place--it's worth it!!!

I committed to getting up 15 minutes early every morning for the month of December. That time became so treasured that I stretched it to an hour. Since beginning my habit again, I've begun the hunt for the perfect daytimer.

What would my perfect daytimer look like and why is it important for my early morning routine? A dayplanner of some sort works like a "home management notebook," prayer journal, brain-on-paper, and mini-"Control Journal" all in one. Since I wanted a compact size (slightly smaller than half-notebook size), I decided to keep my full-size control journal already in existence (has cleaning charts/information, information on home improvement projects, etc.), and go from there in creating my smaller daytimer. (I need to come up with a name...I like Home Management Notebook, but it's more than that. Any suggestions?) So, before I committed to any one system, I bought an inexpensive FranklinCovey binder at Target; it's leather, the size I wanted, and zips (another feature I wanted). I "test drove" it for a few days, making copious notes in it as to what would improve it, what I liked/didn't like, and what other planners I'd seen that worked better. Here's what I came up with for my "needs" in this brain-binder of mine:

• Compact size since I wanted to be able to carry it with me
• Fits in the binder I bought because I like it
• Daily sheets that include room for menu, prayer requests, to-do lists, and so forth (something just like Simple Mom's Daily Docket and Daily Docket Nano or my friend Megan's creation, but smaller and ready made)
• Not an hourly schedule to fill in because my life doesn't look like that
  
• Menu/grocery list section
• Notes section
• Tasks/Projects section
• Addresses/Contacts Section (I plan to print my address book which I just typed onto little address labels and just stick them in the contacts section)

The Daily Page format I wanted was the hardest to find. I found lots of options in the other categories that I really like. Tomorrow I'll give a breakdown of the planners I looked at as well as describe the system that's working for me now! Stay tuned for the Daily Planner Round-up....

Spring Cleaning Update--Getting Things Done!

I said I was spring cleaning my life this spring, and boy, have I been hard at work! A quick list of projects completed to date:

• cleaned out one attic section completely (we have three under the eaves of our house): everything that is in there is known by me, boxed/stored appropriately, and organized.
• cleaned out daughter's room/closet
• cleaned out my closet
• cleaned out boys' room and closet
• cleaned off kitchen counters (removing unneeded items, etc.)
• cleaned out games/entryway closet
• cleaned out laundry area
• cleaned off/decluttered large bookcase in office
• cleaned out some flower beds (not just weeded; actually got rid of some other plants because it was too crowded/cluttered looking)
• pictures/art framed that's been sitting in my closet for 6.5 years....
• chalkboard for kitchen bought (I've wanted it since we moved in 3.5 years ago....)
• daytimer bought and now used daily
• kids' clothes sorted and organized
  

Items gotten rid of so far:

• Toys to grandparents' house (they agreed!)
• 125 items to children's consignment sale
• $75 worth of trade credit at local bookstore for books/movies turned in
• large bags to Goodwill, including 25 items of clothing (mine), 2 pairs of shoes, old purses, other truly random things
• transplants of Lenten roses and others to friends who could use them/wanted them
• plain old trash bags of trash taken to garbage
• hand-me-downs mailed to friends' twins
• hand-me-downs mailed back to friends who loaned them to me in the first place
• hand-me-downs mailed to nephew
• hand-me-downs sent to friend's son
• books sent to friend in Peace Corps
  

To do still:

• clean out other two attic sections (a much bigger project than the first--sigh)
• clean out upstairs linen closet (just did this a year ago, so this should go smoothly)
• clean out downstairs linen closet (again, just did this a year ago, so should be quick)
• clean out/declutter office and accompanying closets

I'm on the home stretch!

Previous Easter-Related Posts

Easter isn't too far away! Below are some of our posts from last year to give you a head start on planning for this special time with your family.

Egg Hunt Surprises

Dying Easter Eggs: Some Tips and Tricks

Celebrate Easter! (this one contains a link for Resurrection Eggs, among other things)

Enjoy the beginnings of new life all around you as spring gets under way--these are all reminders of our new life in Christ!

Savoring a Cup of Tea: Single-Minded Obedience: No Qualifiers

My friend Sarah and I are reading Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship together, and so far, it has been both tremendously thought-provoking and thoroughly convicting. We just finshed chapter 3, titled "Single-Minded Obedience." Bonhoeffer's point is that we often try to discuss the commands of Christ too much, to figure out what is relevant in our current situation, to analyze "What did the Lord really mean for me here and now?" and so forth.

Bonhoeffer urges his readers instead to obey single-mindedly; he claims we will not understand how to obey until we actually obey. Sarah and I realized that this is very much how you train a child. That 3-year-old doesn't understand even what to do sometimes until he or she attempts it and is corrected or steered in the right direction. But am I, as the parent, more upset at defiance, questioning, hemming and hawing or at an incorrectly done task--but one that was attempted promptly nonetheless? Of course I'd rather see an attempt to obey than have my authority challenged. 

It seems Bonhoeffer's point in reference to our following Christ is similar. It is not imperative that we understand the nitty gritty. It is important that we obey. He's reiterated countless times so far that obedience and faith go hand in hand; the more we do/have of the one, the more the other follows. And, Christ initiates the situation in which we can have faith or obey in the first place. It is all at His direction and under His providence.

Of course, Sarah and I immediately thought of situations in which we wouldn't know exactly how to obey and thus...how were we to obey single-mindedly without questioning? But then, we realized that there are an amazing number of commands and directives in Scripture that come with no qualifiers: for those, it is easy to see how to obey and when-->always! For instance, consider the following commands (and notice what a difference it would make if we always obeyed--in your home, your work place, your interactions with the world):

• Be joyful always
• Pray continually
• Do everything with complaining or arguing
• Give generously
• Practice hospitality
• Give thanks in all things
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength
• Pray for those who persecute you
• Train up a child in the way he should go
• Respect your husbands
• Seek wisdom

The list could go on and on! So, our challenge is not to sit around mulling over the grayer aspects of what obedience to the Lord looks like. We have quite a few directives in Scripture that are not remotely bound by culture, location, time, situation.... No doubt, as we grow closer to the Lord through obedience and faith, the Spirit will enhable us to discern what that obedience looks like in different situations. Our task is to obey, not always understand. And, thank the Lord that His Holy Spirit is in believers enabling them to obey, that Christ's righteousness has been imputed to us, that we do not have to stand before the Lord based on our own merit--especially since one of the commands issued by Christ in the gospels is to be perfect....

A Daily Prayer

We had this as part of our Bible study and the challenge was to read it to ourselves every day for a week. One of those Bible verses you happen upon later on:

Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. Psalm 119:33-37

Are Your Kids' Toys Causing Strife?

Every parent has to deal with the "mine!" issue, right? All children have to learn to share, and they don't like it one bit. That's part of our sin nature--serving our own flesh rather than loving others enough to sacrifice (not to mention resistance to obeying authority when commanded to do something we don't want to do). 

As I've been spring cleaning and purging our house and lives of unnecessary and unwanted items, I came to the inevitable toy questions: which ones do I get rid of? which ones do I save for another time? which ones get to stay right where they are? (on the floor of course)

I have a new criteria to add (my existing criteria below*): I'm ousting all toys that promote strife rather than the possibility for children to play together. How do I determine that? Simple: if the toy is electronic and/or makes noise, it's automatically up for question. That's because most electronic toys (there are exceptions) are designed for the following scenario: one child playing with it at a time, no interaction with those not playing, and no logical end in sight where the toy can be passed off. I've always found the timer method a bit annoying (little Johnny can play with said toy until the timer goes off and then little Suzie gets it). In addition, toddlers and young preschoolers have a really, really hard time grasping the whole concept of time, so it seems like FOREVER that little Johnny is playing with it and no time at all that little Suzie gets it. Toys like this only promote strife, hoarding, running away screaming "Mine!", complaining about whose turn it is, and so forth.

Compare and contrast the following scenarios:

• three children are playing with some blocks: they can either build three separate towers, forcing the requirement that they share the blocks in question, but allowing each to build separate creations; they can build a tower together, forcing them to not only share the blocks, but to dialogue perhaps or at least work together in a joint creation; they can do whatever they want with them, sharing the blocks, talking over what each person has done, etc.
• three children are playing with one LeapFrog musical ABC toy: child A has the toy and punches buttons over and over, listening to the ABC chant, while children B and C watch and wait their turn, no one talking to each other except to complain that child A's turn is taking too long (or perhaps child A complaining that children B and C are in "her space" or "crowding her"); all three children are squabbling over who had it first and whose turn it is

Will there be fighting and so forth in the first example? Sure. But are there options that promote sharing and, at the same time, enable all three children to play together? Yes. In the second example, there is no option of all three children playing together and very little opportunity to even interact with each other. Which would you choose?

There are a couple of examples of toys designed for single-child use that can work in a group setting, promoting community, but each child will need his or her own toy. Toy phones are a good example of this. When each child has his or her own, they can at least pretend to talk to one another, or they can each play independently. 

So, in our house, from now on, we are going to strive to purchase/accept toys that engender the possibility of community rather than ones that promote solo play, and thus, strife. (They are free to have solo use toys in their own rooms for their own quiet time; otherwise, I don't want to see it. Arts and crafts are solo use activities that can be used at the same time for everyone--still plenty of opportunities to share, but each person will work on his or her paper.)

*My new top ten toy criteria (I made up this list for this post; I've had some of these in mind for a while and others are new--I'm open to others' suggestions!!): 

1. Sturdy construction
   
2. Multiple uses possible (LeapFrog ABC toy fails this, too, while blocks do not-->they can be towers, houses, trucks, cell phones, you name it)
   
3. Adaptable to a range of ages (again, once you know your ABC's, how much fun is the LeapFrog toy going to be? In contrast, you can chew on a block, move up to stacking 2-3, then create towers, then create "birthday cakes" complete with "candles" that your brothers can "blow out"...)
   
4. Promotes independent play/design (like arts and crafts or toy train sets)
5. Promotes creative play/design (arts and crafts, dolls, etc.)
6. Is not based on a licensed character.... :)
7. Not electronic (preferably)
8. Easily taken care of (stuffed animals that can be thrown in the wash v. those that can't)
9. I couldn't decide here: reader suggestions welcome!
10. Promotes unity and community rather than strife

An Inspiring Debt-Free Story

My friends Philip and Bridgette recently got to call into the Dave Ramsey radio show and yell, "We're Debt Free!" I thought you might like to read about it firsthand (and listen to the clip). If you need some inspiration to start budgeting, you'll find it here!

Some Practical Money Tips and Tricks

One of my goals during my "spring cleaning" is to finetune the budget chunks I'm in charge of, so I thought I'd share some of our family's tips and tricks for living within our means.

In my "series" on budgeting these past few weeks (check out the "Polishing Your Finances" category in the list on the right), I've talked about a couple of wonderful books (our featured resource--Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and Randy Alcorn's Money, Possessions, and Eternity), mentioned grocery savings possibilities, and talked about lowering your heat bill (and other utilities costs) using what you already have. Here are some more practical tips and tricks. Stay tuned for an inspiring story tomorrow.

• Use your internet resources to help you budget: Did you know you can check all the prices at places like Sam's Club online? What a great tool to help figure out a potentially large expenditure before even entering the store! You can also do some serious price-checking/comparing between stores using their online sites. My dad just did this for a camera purchase over the holidays. It's especially helpful for larger electronics products because you can compare features, prices, service plans, and the like.
  
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• Practice delayed gratification (otherwise known as old-fashioned self control).
  
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• Use set-price-per-month programs. Our utilities are averaged out over the course of the year; we pay one price per month. This is extremely helpful since our bills would be considerably higher in January/February and July/August otherwise (due to heat and air). We also use services like Netflix, paying one price for our entertainment.*
  
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• Use your tax dollars: make use of free/reduced-cost local services that your tax dollars help fund! This includes city parks, libraries, and the like.
  
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• Associate with other like-minded people: find friends who enjoy doing low cost activities together or who understand when you need to say, "We need to wait until next month before spending more money."
  
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• Evaluate your time/money cost-benefit ratio: a purchase like Quicken or Turbo Tax might be worth the initial investment if it will really help you in the long run.
  
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• Try to make do with what you have for a while before automatically buying new software (even something like Quicken or Turbo Tax!). Determine whether you really need the new system or whether you simply want the added inspiration to procrastinate a bit further.
  
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• Don't pay the tardiness tax!!!! When you get a rebate form, fill it out and send it in THAT DAY. Pay your bills on time. Don't delay making a return until after the store's specified allowed time. Register for events you know you will attend when the early-bird specials are still in effect. So often, when we put off something we know we will do/need to do/want to do, then we end up paying more in the long run!
  
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• Save on shipping costs from online merchants by thinking ahead. Sure, you might only need another $3 purchase to meet Amazon's $25 free shipping limit, but will you only spend that $3 more? Of course not; in your browsing, you'll see a book you've been wanting to read and it's "only" $9 instead of the MSRP of $14. What a bargain, right? Wrong. Make use of places like Amazon's offer to keep your wish list on hand. Then, next time you only need a small purchase to meet a free shipping requirement, you'll already have a list of needed items or possible birthday presents for someone.  
  
• Buy season passes if you will use them. Season passes will just cost you more money if you are only going to be in that place once. If you don't know that you will use the pass, don't buy it! On the other hand, if there's a place you know you would like to go frequently, it may help to buy the pass. A zoo is a good example: there are often seasonal attractions and the kids never seem to get tired of it. So, there's a good chance you'll use your zoo pass if you're near a decent one and have young children. That big theme park 45 minutes away? Maybe not.
  

*We highly, highly recommend Netflix; because of Netflix in large part, we've been able to avoid getting a new digital TV or Cable/Dish. We had a high speed internet connection because of my husband's work, bought a TV tuner for the computer, and invested in a nice monitor (much cheaper than a new TV). Now, we can "stream" movies, documentaries, and TV shows from Netflix, watch our DVD's that come in the mail from them, and even watch live TV with our Beyond TV program--it works like Tevo, so we can watch our favorite shows whenever. This way, we only watch what we want/prefer, and our out-of-pocket cost per month is $15. We NEVER run out of things to watch.

(Wo)man's Chief End

My husband has always wanted a hat or shirt that reads, "Ask me about my chief end?" (All good Presbyterians should have a hearty chuckle here!). He is, of course, referring to the first question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (a wonderful resource for all!).

A few months ago, when I first read Kathy Peel's Busy Mom's Guide, the first chapter really struck home. It is all about priorities. I believe the Holy Spirit used Peel's exhortation to live by our priorities to inspire me to review all of my activities and possessions in light of my priorities. What doesn't fit? 

Because I'm a good student, I set out immediately to make lists! Lists of priorities for different categories of my life. The more I thought about it, the shorter those lists got, until I ended up with just one priority: To glorify God and enjoy him forever (answer to the WSC first question). Why did it take me several lists and a couple of months to figure out something I already "knew"? 

Everything else in my life is secondary to this priority, isn't it? What glorifies God? Obedience to him with a joyful heart. What does he command me, as a woman, a wife, a mom, to do? Only the same things he commands all Christians to do (granted, there are a few specific directives like respect my husband, train my children, etc.): love others, serve joyfully, pray continually, give generously, practice hospitality, don't covet, be thankful in all circumstances, walk in the Spirit, study his Word, be faithful in the little things, have faith, care for the fatherless and the widow, ...be perfect! Thankfully, it is the Holy Spirit who enables us to obey. But that really helps simplify my priority list, doesn't it?

Ever since that short list a month or so ago, I've been simplifying and streamlining in earnest: what is cluttering my life (possessions, activities, etc.) that is keeping me from obeying God where he has put me? In other words, why am I having a hard time spending time in the Word (perhaps I could clear off my desk where I used to sit and still have my Bible study aids...)? Why am I griping and yelling at my children (perhaps it's the clutter underfoot and on the counter that is peripherally stressing me out and perhaps I need to train them to start helping out around the house)? Why am I too tired at the end of the day to be a good companion for my husband (perhaps cutting out some activities during the day will enable me to rest a bit instead...)? You get the picture. Hence, the spring cleaning of Betsy's life! Just thought I'd share some of the more spiritual motivation behind the scenes.

To date:

• Cleaned out boys' closet so it's now safe for them to enter
• In boys' cloest, hung bar low enough so soon they'll be able to hang things up
• Cleaned out entry way closet!
• Have shoe storage shelf in entryway closet along with places for everyone's coats
• Bought boys little backpacks (daughter already had one) so they can start carrying some of their own gear as we walk without the stroller
• Cleaned out broom closet in kitchen so it now contains... brooms, vacuum, etc. (not the myriad other things it had that were too much temptation for little boys and caused much frustration for Mommy for dinnertime)
• Bought underbed storage containers as half-way homes for clothes outgrown mid-season; now I'll only have to get into the attic at the end of the seaon instead of constantly throughout
• Bought a dayplanner that will include my address book--this is a work in progress, though, so I may switch
• New menu planning--already helping
• We budgeted rather specifically at the beginning of January and that has helped relieve so much stress--really, a budget can relieve money stress!
• The kids and I have been going outside nearly every day (bought rain boots as part of this adventure--nothing can stop us now!); this has helped our health, our attitude, our energy level, ....
• Set up internet bank to automatically send tithe check to church (along with missionary giving)
• Set up internet bank to automatically pay bills....
• My friend Lisa came over to help me declutter my kitchen
• And this is only the beginning!

Sacrificial season of Lent

The season of Lent is here. Many of you may have chosen to give up something as a way to focus on the events surrounding the Resurrection of Christ/Easter. I too thought I would give up something, so I picked my two weaknesses: Sweets and Coffee. Now I have to say, I am addicted to coffee, and it's hard to pass up dessert. But, my sweetness giving up is a little selfishly motivated (I have GOT to loose weight.) My coffee was more of, I don't usually survive without it, I think it makes me edgy, time to cut back.

WELL...I did refused the chocolate chip cookies the boys got for lunch, BUT absent-mindedly snacked on Fruit Loops a minute ago, and caved into my coffee abstinence this morning because I have no caffeinated tea on hand. What's wrong with me!!

All that to say, it's a good thing we have a gracious Savior, who refused to give into temptation, weakness, even though the end was met with death. Even at the pivotal moment in the garden, praying "not my will but yours (God's) be done"!

And I can't help but think...what would I do if I knew I only had 40+ days left to live. Most of us would probably do everything extravagant we could think of. Go places, see things/people. One last hurrah! After all, we're going to heaven right?! What did Jesus do? He kept ministering, healing, and teaching. Even days before he was arrested, he was still performing miracles. He even had the one who was going to betray him in his midst, and yet he still showed love to him.

So, even if we don't make it through the season of Lent (:-)), we can still learn a lot about where we fall short, and where Christ didn't.

Spring Cleaning My Life

Those who know me know that I'm on a constant quest to simplify and streamline my life while at the same time enjoying collecting things and living a life in a state of chaos. How to merge these two? I've tried countless organizational systems, had friends come over to help me declutter, read helpful websites, followed the Fly Lady's system, etc. Nothing has really seemed to click as far as a workable solution/system for my current state of unpredictability. 

Until yesterday... when I discovered Simple Mom. Just the title was enough to hook me. I've already been decluttering and cleaning closets like mad in order to recapture some storage real estate that wasn't being used to its fullest potential, so I'm in the zone, so to speak, to declutter and organize. Well, some of the forms and suggestions on Simple Mom have got me thinking... and I think they just might be a good fit for me! Simple Mom is written by a Christian although she doesn't mention her faith on the site; she does, however, claim that it informs her views on things. 

Why am I telling this to the blog world? Well, I'm hoping to spend the month of March doing some "spring cleaning" on my house, my time, my priorities, my task-lists, my routines, etc. I might even do some spring cleaning on this blog (Carrie and I've talked over ways we can make the blog more accessible to people, articles more easily found, etc.--any thoughts are welcome in the comments section). So, you may not hear much from me these next few weeks (even though so many terrific blog posting ideas are floating through my head...). Carrie's busy with home schooling and managing a preschooler, among other things, so we don't hear as much as we'd like from her these days, either. Don't give up on us! We'll still be around and enjoy hearing your comments!

I Didn't Get a Haircut... I Got 'Em All Cut

Today is/was haircutting day: 2 down, 1 to go.

Last week, a passerby mistook one of my very beefy boys for a girl.... I knew it was time.... The last time I cut the boys' hair, it was 2008, pre-Christmas...maybe even pre-Thanksgiving. If it's humid outside and they've just had a bath, they look like they have a bad '80's perm....

All three of my children have been blessed with fairly curly hair. This hides a multitude of sins, thankfully, so I've begun cutting their hair myself (after watching good friends and my mother do it in for me). I've gotten better and learned a few things along the way. In case you're inspired to attempt this yourself, keep the following in mind:

• Videos are a must (our pick today is The Wiggles: Pop Go the Wiggles streamed instantly from Netflix)
  
• Proper clothing is a must (fleece is a no no....don't ask me how I know this)
  
• Bath-time immediately following the hair cut must be part of the schedule
  
• Speed is more important than accuracy--you can always touch up later, but half a head of cut hair looks terrible (again, don't ask me how I know this...)
  
• Just do it: just make that first cut without analyzing.... see above point
  
• You can always use clippers with a guard for little boys' hair; I haven't because my boys are too interested in little mechanical devices (maybe because their Daddy is an engineer?); it's too hard to try to cut the back of the head when the eyes want so very much to see what is making the cool electronic noise.
• Time to clean up salon area after said bath-time is also a must
• Booster seats with confining straps are also a good idea
• Save an old vinyl tablecloth if you go the indoor/movie route (when it's warmer, we can host hair cutting sessions in the great outdoors!)

Remember, Easter isn't that far away--if you cut now, there is still time for too-short hairs to grow. Don't ask me why I'm pointing this out....

Now Seeds, Start Growing!

Frog and Toad Together by Arnold Lobel continues to be one of my all-time favorite books EVER. This is coming from an English major, a former English teacher, AND someone who has an MA in children's literature! So, I've read a LOT of books, especially a lot of children's books.

This particular book of Lobel's features the beloved Frog and Toad in various adventures; one of which is the "The List," about which I wrote before. My daughter and I read this book all the time, so the stories are always fresh in mind. Since I started some of my herb and vegetable seeds last night, I've had Toad's cry from "The Garden," "Now seeds, start growing!" running through my head.

In "The Garden," Toad sees Frog's garden full of beautiful flowers. Frog assures Toad that he, too, can have a beautiful garden, but it's hard work. Toad plants some seeds and commands them to start growing. Nothing happens. He yells at them. Nothing happens. Toad thinks his seeds are afraid to grow. When Frog notices Toad yelling at his seeds, he suggests that Toad leave them alone and let the sun shine on them, the rain fall on them, and so forth. But Toad commences what can only be described as a seed nurturing regimen: he sings to them, he reads them stories by candlelight, he plays music for them, and he reads them poetry. During the course of his "enrichment program," the rain falls, the sun shines, and day and night pass. When he falls asleep, exhausted from his hard work, the seeds begin to sprout. Frog wakes him up with the good news, and Toad exclaims, "You were right, Frog.  It was very hard work."

Isn't this the way we operate with our children? Sometimes we resort to yelling when there's no immediate response. Often we exert all kinds of effort to "enrich" them: taking them sports activities, filling our week with play date after play date, signing them up for little gymnastics classes, starting music lessons early, and fretting over any slight deviation from whatever we perceive as "normal." In reality, kids are like seeds: they need sunshine to shine on them, a little rain to fall on them, regular days and nights, and they will grow! (I could elaborate on the spiritual implications of this story, but that's another post for another day!)

The Great Gardening Game 2009

Looking for free entertainment for your wee ones? Looking for a way to be "green" and more "organic" in your kitchen/eating? Looking for a way to get more exercise? Looking for a fun hobby? Look no further! It's time to think about that garden!

Already? You ask. Yes, indeed my friends. You should have been armchair gardening in January and have headed out to Lowe's or gone to Park's for some seed by now for most of the USA (if you're in the Deep South, you could probably have already planted stuff outside by now!).

I took some pictures yesterday of the bare dirt/leaves in our "garden"--the back 40 (feet) as I call it. Always fun to see what it used to look like before we start our (ambitious) garden. We'll be starting seeds in flats in our basement under flourescent lights (really, these are vegetable seeds! Nothing illegal going on here, I promise, although the picture certainly looks sketchy).

It is worth trying to grow a few things this year--get to know the Lord'

s creation a bit more intimately and get a better appreciation for the food that lands on your table. So, I'm encouraging everyone to think about it, to let their kiddos get their hands dirty, and to learn to like a new vegetable or appreciate an old favorite fresh off the vine. It's such a great reminder, too, that the Lord is really the source of our food--when you're watching the weather, trying to diagnose a pest problem, harvesting something--all of it reminded me of who is really providing me with my daily food, whether it comes from a grocery store, the orchard up the road, or my little backyard garden.

To read about last year's great gardening game:

The Great Gardening Game Has Begun

Still in Play

The Harvest Continues

Another Call to Action: Fight FOCA

You can sign the petition to fight the Freedom of Choice Act here. This is another scary piece of legislation in the works. Carrie has alluded to this before, but I don't know that we've put the link directly on the blog. Pass it on to your friends and family! 

What is FOCA? It essentially does away with all restrictions or limits on abortion as currently practiced/allowed in the U.S. There are some scary statistics out there, folks, including the amount of partial birth or late term abortions already allowed due to women's "health" (which can include mental, "perceived" health issues). There's an excellent analysis of what this act includes and what it will restrict here The three most disturbing aspects to me are the elimination of parental consent for minors, the elimination of safety standards for abortion clinics (why would abortion advocates be wanting this??), and the elimination of the legal right of Catholic and other religious hospitals to refuse to perform abortions based on religious grounds (we had all three of our children in places which did not perform abortions--that was one of the reasons we chose those institutions and health care providers!).

Scary Times=Call to Action

If you have been in unpolitical bliss (as I often am!) it is time to wake up. There are some major things trying to go down that we, as citizens (and hopefully Christian citizens) need to be aware of. So I am going to pass along two websites:

1. www.parentalrights.org = If you are unaware, the UN is trying to pass this whole rights of the child bill. Basically, it would give the government much more control over our children and how they are treated. They would have access to all kinds of records (medical, school), they could step in and take the control of raising our kids away from us. It is really quite scary. There is a nomation for David Ogden to become deputy attorney general and he wants to push this. If you don't realize how scary this could get go to the website. Even better, contact (email, write, call) your representatives to oppose him and oppose the US signing this bill the UN has in place. We have not signed it yet.

2. www.familyresearchcouncil.org = This is another fabulous sight. Both sites you can sign up for regular emails. This non-profit group is based in Washington. They keep a perspective of family values first, and keep you updated on things happening, bills coming, the whole stimulus thing, etc. It's a great way to stay current on events, especially if in my house, your TV hardly gets turned on for the news due to kids.

I highly encourage you to check out both of these!!! There are a lot of things happening in our government right now. These things could greatly affect us, and how we can and choose to raise our families!! And if you want an even closer touch with what is going on, join a Concerned Women for America group in your area. I have and it's great. I keep current on more stuff, and we have a regular prayer time for all the government things happening. Plus, I get contact info of all of our local and national leaders/representatives. So if you haven't done so yet, voice your opinion. This is our country! We get a say!!

Top Five Grocery Savings Strategies (Without Clipping Coupons)

I hear of people who save 60% (or more) on their grocery bills by clipping coupons (like my friend Alicia). I'm in awe of her "deals" sometimes, but have had to come to grips with the fact that I can't keep that up right now. I don't have enough mental power these days. 

Even though I don't use many coupons, I still manage to save money when I shop for groceries (we frequently hit the thrifty level on the average U.S. grocery cost chart). It all comes down to what you buy on a regular basis. For our small family, we buy very few convenience, beauty, or cleaning products. The bulk of the coupons I've seen tend to be for these primary categories. We buy generic goods, have fairly low-maintenance health/beauty routines, and use a limited array of cleaning products (more on that in another post). So, here's how we save money:

1. Sam's (or BJ's, Cosco, etc.). This is tricky.... It's so easy to walk into these stores and come out with legitimately great deals on things you truly don't need (there's a very funny article to this end in the January, 2008 issue of Real Simple magazine). However, if you can use a list and some self-control, there are wonderful savings to be had. We keep a running "Sam's" list and make a monthly run for things like: infant formula (both generic and name brand--don't need anymore, but it saved us tons when the boys were consuming formula), diapers, dog food (even our vet recommended the Purina Fit and Trim you can get at Sam's over our more pricey Nutro), paper towels, toilet paper, ziploc freezer bags, dairy products (especially the 5 pound block of American cheese--a true essential in a house with toddlers), bread and English muffins (great prices on these; put a loaf in the freezer), and meat. The meat prices at Sam's are typically what meat goes on sale for at our regular grocery. So, we stock up on these items.

2. Sales! I don't have the energy to create and keep a grocery price book like some people recommend. But, pay a little attention, and you'll soon notice the regular sales on things you use most. Here's a short list of things I wait for and stock up on: frozen veggies, toothpaste, hot dogs, weird organic cereals that are fun now and then, dairy (you can freeze milk and butter!), tuna, canned tomato products, canned fruit, canned beans..... You get the idea.

3. A grocery list!!!!! Truly a must.

4. A strategy: I've figured out what is genuinely cheaper at Sam's. I get the Kroger weekly flyers emailed to me and make my weekly list from there. I stock up on the food we use regularly when it's cheaper at Kroger than the regular price at Sam's (meat, dairy, etc.). We have a local produce stand we visit for our produce. Benefits: I get coupons from Kroger in the mail for things like $5 off $45 bill, or $2 off $10 of frozen food--things I can use on many different types of products (what's on sale!) rather than a particular brand or size. So, my weekly shopping looks like this: Kroger once a week, Pratt's (local produce market--just down the road) once a week or so, Sam's once every 6 weeks or so. That's pretty much it.

5. Limited convenience foods. These are expensive, folks. I don't make everything from scratch. But I do avoid frozen lasagnas, most boxed cereals, granola bars, chips, etc. unless they're part of a specific meal (i.e. we have tortilla chips when we have chili). I don't have school-age kids, so I'm sure some of that will change when I pack school lunches, but for now, that's how we operate.

I have used more coupons lately because Alicia gives me some, and I've even ordered some from The Coupon Clippers. I'm trying to simplify things, though, so that means I'm heading back to my old, scanty-coupon-use. For some great food-oriented blogs that are geared to money-saving tips, both in shopping and in food preparation, check out $5 Dinners and The Grocery Cart Challenge.

A Sad Reminder for Prayer

I just received an prayer request email from our church. A family has some close friends who have just formerly announced to all that they have moved from Christianity to atheism. Wow...The husband even came from a very Christian home. It reminds me that we need to constantly be on guard. We are at war in a sense. And we need to pray for our children as they grow. Satan is alive and well on planet earth!

The following is from Romans 1:16, 20-24 (the whole chapter is good!)

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes...

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles."

Blankets and Wool Sweaters are Free!

We like to think of ourselves as frugal...as opposed to merely cheap. We also happen to believe that when it's cold outside, you pull out the winter clothes. Likewise, when it's hot outside, the tank tops and shorts make an appearance. As a result, we keep our house cooler in the winter and warmer in the summer than most do. This, of course, helps our energy bills immensely! 

What does mean in actuality? Our thermostat is set to 64 degrees 24/7 right now. That's fairly cool; we wear layers, wool sweaters, and warm socks! At night, we bundle up under blankets. Our kids actually do better in the cooler temperature; more dry heat only dries their sinuses out and give them MORE congestion. We began this winter at about 66 degrees and have dropped a degree each month....we worked up to it so to speak. And those sweaters and blankets we already own are free to operate! 

As you evaluate your budget and seek to reduce costs, consider your energy bills. It's amazing how much you can save over fairly small changes: one to two degrees on the thermostat, bathing your kids every other night insead of every night, turning off lights when you leave the house, etc. 

Teabag: Unwordly Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27

Unwordly peace. Guess what, there was a whole lot of strife, war, fighting, really bad rulers in Bible times. Just look at the kings of Israel. There is a reason they went into exile. This is a promise from Jesus, himself. He is point blank saying this world will not give us peace. But we can find TRUE peace in him. And we don't have to be afraid of our earthly future in the hands of our earthly rulers. But rest in the promises from him. So Peace I leave with you....

Tithing

In the Old Testament, the Lord commands, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse." (Micah--can't remember chapter and verse and don't have time to look it up...). Anyway, tithing has long been an issue for Christians. Are we still bound to the 10% rule? Do we "have" to tithe at all? What happens if we miss tithing a paycheck? Do we "owe" back-tithes? Will God not bless us until we're caught up?

I won't pretend to know the answers to all the tithing issues, but a few things I do know: our standing before God is dependent on Christ's work on the cross, alone. Period. We can add nothing to our salvation, not even a religious following of the tithe. The Pharisees were chastised for tithing their mint, dill, and cumin (do you tithe your herbs?), but were still guilty of not loving their fellow men and women.

I also know that God loves a cheerful giver, that everything we have is really the Lord's, and that obedience should be a fruit of our faith. That being said, it seems the very least we should be doing is "tithing" ten percent of our income.

We now have a check sent automatically from our bank to our church every month since we kept forgetting. We are teaching our daughter to give when the offering plate comes around. We also help support some missionary friends of ours. I don't think we have to worry about back tithes; I think it is more important that we start obeying the Lord by giving cheerfully right now, today. When you make your monthly budget, don't forgot to include the amounts you are planning to give to the Lord's work. You might even consider stepping out in faith and giving slightly more than you think you "can." (Maybe my parents will write a guest post on their experiences with Faith Promise giving in previous years.)