Preschool Funnies

Some recent conversations in our home (E is our 5-year-old daughter; W and D are our 3-year-old twins). I should put one of these up every day--they're so funny. Are you taking time to really listen to the little people in your lives?

Mommy: "I'm going upstairs to fix my hair."
W (innocently): "Is it broken?"

Mommy: "We're having leftover soup tonight for dinner."
E: "What kind?"
Mommy: "I'm afraid it's the kind you don't like." (cream of turkey and wild rice)
E: "I have a good idea. To make it better, you can stir in yogurt (plain), cheese, and... some cream cheese! That's a good idea, Mommy."

D: "What's green dough, Mommy?" (I have French bread in the oven)
Mommy: "I don't know, D--"
D: "It's broccoli!"

Daddy: "What do you have in your mouth, D?"
D: (tells what it is--I can't remember, but it was definitely NOT something that should have been in his mouth)
Daddy: "Where did you get that, D?"
D: "From my hand."

W: "Mommy"
Mommy: "What?"
W: "Mommy"
Mommy: "What?"
W: "Mommy"
Mommy (in a louder than normal tone...): "What?!"
W: "umm..... " (apparently, he didn't have anything to say....)

W: "Is it raining? Do we need coats?"
Mommy: "It's only a little rainy. You'll be fine without your coat."
W: "It's only a little rainy, Mommy, not a big rainy."

And, finally, a conversation (one among many) in which big sister E instructs one of her little brothers in the vast knowledge of the universe:
D: "The moon is the sun! I see the moon!"
E: "The moon is not the sun." (with finger raised) "Listen to me: I will tell you all about the moon. The moon is a circle and it's full. The moon is light. It's a round circle."
D: "OH" (like this is the most significant thing he's ever heard) "What is the sun?"
E: "The sun is different." (in a funny little 'instructing' voice) "It's very hot--so hot it will burn your finger if you touch it."
D: "Oh, and if I get really tall and touch the sun and it will burn my finger off and Mommy will help me and..." (I lost the rest of that strain)

Denial and Procrastination

This blog post is pure procrastination in action...and denial of all the work I *should* be doing. Ever have days like that? I'm tired, fighting off a beastly cold/sinus thing (and gaining more sympathy for my sick kids), slightly cold from the damp, cold weather outside, and very much not in the mood to do my homework or the weekly ironing. So, instead, I'm drinking a cup of nice hot tea, rambling on this blog post, and waiting for some chocolate chip cookies to come out of the oven....

Sounds like much more fun than ironing or homework, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, I'm too mature not to know that my cold will only get worse--probably about 5:00 when my class starts--and that the ironing won't do itself. (sigh) So, I'm going to be a big girl, surf the web while I finish my tea, and then get up and be productive. I think I'll set a timer: if I work hard for an hour, then I will take a wee nap. After all, I could probably get everything done in that hour if I put my mind to it.

Ever have days like these?

I Didn't Get a Haircut... I Got 'Em All Cut

Today is/was haircutting day: 2 down, 1 to go.

Last week, a passerby mistook one of my very beefy boys for a girl.... I knew it was time.... The last time I cut the boys' hair, it was 2008, pre-Christmas...maybe even pre-Thanksgiving. If it's humid outside and they've just had a bath, they look like they have a bad '80's perm....

All three of my children have been blessed with fairly curly hair. This hides a multitude of sins, thankfully, so I've begun cutting their hair myself (after watching good friends and my mother do it in for me). I've gotten better and learned a few things along the way. In case you're inspired to attempt this yourself, keep the following in mind:

• Videos are a must (our pick today is The Wiggles: Pop Go the Wiggles streamed instantly from Netflix)
  
• Proper clothing is a must (fleece is a no no....don't ask me how I know this)
  
• Bath-time immediately following the hair cut must be part of the schedule
  
• Speed is more important than accuracy--you can always touch up later, but half a head of cut hair looks terrible (again, don't ask me how I know this...)
  
• Just do it: just make that first cut without analyzing.... see above point
  
• You can always use clippers with a guard for little boys' hair; I haven't because my boys are too interested in little mechanical devices (maybe because their Daddy is an engineer?); it's too hard to try to cut the back of the head when the eyes want so very much to see what is making the cool electronic noise.
• Time to clean up salon area after said bath-time is also a must
• Booster seats with confining straps are also a good idea
• Save an old vinyl tablecloth if you go the indoor/movie route (when it's warmer, we can host hair cutting sessions in the great outdoors!)

Remember, Easter isn't that far away--if you cut now, there is still time for too-short hairs to grow. Don't ask me why I'm pointing this out....

Wednesday Equals Wash Day

So, when you move all your laundry needs to one day, as I have done, your house undergoes an interesting makeover on the Big Day. I decided to let the kids enjoy the myriad baskets of laundry since it would all be clean and out of reach by the end of the day. Anyone else's house ever look like this?

Present Blunders

Ok, this is totally to make you all laugh and feel a little better about yourself. I'm not even that old! (I had Betsy practically in tears...). So, last week was tiring and rough, especially Tuesday, when I told my darling (HAH!) 5 yr old to stay in his room till Daddy got home. So my hubby let me escape and go finish painting a teacup for my niece's birthday (that was in October!). Well...almost done and the lady says "why don't you date the bottom." Sure says frazzled brain. Well, it was for this past October (2008) and her birthday is in the 20's. What I put was 10 (got that right)-18-2009. Don't ask....just laugh till you cry. I don't even know the brain malfunction to come up with that. I'm not dating things any more!! (I messed up the twins date on their cups too....)

Making Christmas Presents--Jalapeno Jelly

I won't bore our few faithful readers with accounts of all the Christmas gifts I've tried to make, but this one is such a good illustration of why I must start months ahead of time to finish anything these days. Making Jalapeno Jelly seemed like such a straightforward process; if you'd like the bare bones recipe for normal people, see full tummies. If you'd like to see what this process is like with 3 young children, read on.... Remember, it only takes about 2o minutes "active time" to make this.

Rewind back to late May: I planted my garden. I got such a late start because of aforementioned toddlers, so, the salsa ingredients I planted failed to mature all at the same time. (Read that as: hundreds of jalapenos, few tomatoes, and no bell peppers....) So, I was stuck with tons of jalapenos and decided that everyone was getting jalapeno jelly for Christmas this year! Genius, right?

August: Didn't have time to actually make the jelly, so I chopped up all the peppers and froze them.

Fall: bought all supplies for jelly making (pectin, jars, etc.).

November: Realized in a panic that I was planning to take all Christmas gifts for hubby's side of the family with us to Thanksgiving since we might not see them at Christmas. Time for jelly making (and finishing other Christmas presents, making shortbread, etc.). So, the day for jelly making arrives. Here's my day:

• Breakfast: while kids are eating, I retrieve all supplies from basement and other places. Pull peppers out of freezer. So far, so good. Oh--I fished out my big canning funnel from the kids' toy bin and gave it a good washing.
  
• Mid-morning: wash all jars and lids. Set big canning pot and stock pot on stove.
• Lunchtime: while kids are eating, I start jars sterilizing (takes FOREVER for water to boil in my big pot) and blend up peppers. Realize I'm 1/4 cup sugar short and SPRINT to neighbor's house with my key, purloin some sugar, sprint back (all in the rain), and make sure kids are still alive and well on planet Earth.
• Naptime: Well, only 2 of the 3 kids was napping (long story). But, still, the odds are in my favor. So, we begin the actual 15-20 minute process by placing pepper/vinegar/sugar mixture in pot on stove and turn the burner on. This only has to come to a rolling boil and boil for a few minutes...
• AS SOON AS I TURN THE BURNER ON: Twin A (the lucky one downstairs with me) has a dirty diaper. Might not be cause for immediate attention on a normal day, but this was the first one in a couple of days. Move pot of pepper mixture off burner and tend to diaper.
• Wash hands and begin again. This time I make it to the point when I'm actually pouring the hot mixture into the hot jars and daughter starts screaming bloody murder (upstairs in her room). I screw hot bands on hot lids and hot jars (burning my fingers) and throw them all into the pot and race upstairs (scooping up Twin A). She'd gotten the mini blinds cord around her neck.... (sigh). Yes, it could have been bad, but this time it just scared her (and me). We spend some time comforting and snuggling and discussing why that's not a good idea to do EVER AGAIN. Then, we all three march back downstairs just in time to take jars out of water bath. Did I decide to do the needed second batch that same day? Nope... We'll save that adventure for an evening when kids are in bed and hubby is at home.
• Verdict: 6 half-pints of beautiful and tasty jelly; 3 safe kids; 1 pooped mom.
  

What Else Can Go Wrong?

I shouldn't even ask that question since we still have 1 1/2 hours until departure (for yet another trip). Why do things always go wrong when it's actually important that they not? In other words, why is it the day we're about to leave on a trip that the following things happen? (Mind you, it's not even 10:00 a.m.)

• 1 twin dumps dogs' water bowl out...all over kitchen floor, himself (of course, he's already in his travel clothes), and the other twin (also in travel clothes)
• daughter (who's potty trained) poops in her pants (her travel clothes)
• daughter spills yogurt all over her shirt because she disobeyed Mommy and didn't put her bib on first (or wait for it to be put on)
• all three kids get into the plastic wrap drawer: all ziploc bags (approximately 150) were pulled out of their boxes, saran wrap pulled off roll, foil in process of being pulled off roll....
• 1 twin rips two pages out of daughter's favorite Curious George book

I still have booster seats to clean, pac-n-plays to fold down, car to pack, lunch to get, sippy cups to wash and refill..... (sigh)

Just had to sit down and regroup for a minute--thought someone out there might be laughing to herself and knowing that these things happen to other people!

Postscript: We eventually made it out the door in one piece, but Chick-Fil-A forgot the fries I ordered through the drive thru shortly thereafter. Once we made it to our destination, things went pretty smoothly and my daughter was the cutest flower girl ever!

Discovering the Toilet

Every soon-to-be toddler eventually discovers that you don't have to be in the bath to play with water! How exciting is that!?! And, it's right on your level, there's a lip to hang onto for better splashing leverage, and the lid moves! This is the greatest thing since, well, Cheerios.

Except when the slightly older toddler of the house has recently contributed some liquid of her own to the same source of water and forgotten to flush.... (sigh) One of my twins happily played around in this charming source of entertainment under these conditions before I discovered him.

Bathtime "Business"

Well, I am trying to give my 2 yr old a bath while folding laundry, and putting another load on to dry (you know, constant multi-tasking!) In the middle of this, I hear exclaimes, "Mama, I did it!" (all proud of himself.) I turn around, and start trying to figure out what he did, when I see two nice floating "logs" (use your imagination!). That was the end of bathtime.

"No Crying Over Spilled Milk"...Happy Monday!

Kids Say The Funniest Things

In the midst of a trying day, you just know something is going to pop out!

We are trying to get the kids room cleaned. It is a disaster, no suprise. Our 5 yr old is deciding to play with every toy instead of cleaning (stall, stall, stall). So finally, getting REALLY frustrated, I have given him a specific task of picking up hotwheels or else. He says he can't find them. I say they are in this basket we had filled with toys from the living room...he has two eyes, he can see them. In which he looks at me, squints his eyes, and announces, "now I only have one eye."

Sometimes you just have to laugh! Happy Friday.

It's a Hard Knock Life

A friend of mine who just had twin boys a month ago was telling me how frustrating it was for her sometimes when she would finish nursing one boy and need to nurse the second; boy number 1 might still be fussy and typically would be consoled by Mommy a little bit longer--but in the twin world, you just have to fuss sometimes while your twin takes precedence.

Today, I got to witness that yet again in my own little family and mentally sang with Annie, "It's a hard knock life...." Here's what occurs: all three kids have recently finished lunch and are out of high chairs, cleaned up, and entertaining themselves. Twin A is getting a bit fussy, so I read a book to him. Still fussy... I figured it was naptime-related (it was the usual time) and scooped him up to head upstairs. With that AMAZING skill I have acquired through much trial and error these past months, I realized in the nick of time that Twin A was going to lose his lunch and swiftly held him over the wood floor. Only a tiny bit landed on the carpet and yours truly. Well, once the spasms had passed, Twin A got put on the floor, out of the mess, and stripped of his soiled clothing. He's screaming and my toddler is shrieking/screaming (she always gets a little freaked out at forceful vomiting). Do I, as Mommy dearest, pick up either of these weeping little ones to comfort and console them? No. It's a hard knock life. Instead, I grabbed towels and dustpan as fast as I could and began to clean up the mess. Why? Because Twin B is rapidly crawling over to see what all the fuss is about. Tyranny of the urgent often reigns supreme in our house. In this case, a crawling 1 year old carrying vomit to the far corners of the house won the prize. I prevented that scenario while verbally trying to comfort the other two. Thankfully, the toddler was mollified, and soon I was able to tend to Twin A--the one most in need of comfort, eh?

Just For Fun!

You know when they make birthday cards, it happens often. Here is the card my husband got for my birthday. Oh, how true, how true!

Intentionally Spilled Milk

Carrie and I are starting a new category: "Spilled Milk: No Crying." She's already posted her Top 10, and I plan to at some point. However, this past Thursday, we had a case of "intentionally poured milk." My toddler's infinitely wise maternal grandmother poured milk out of my toddler's tumbler, through the little sippy spout, into her (the toddler's) Cream of Wheat a couple of weeks ago. Toddlers, as many of you know, are born imitators and love to "help." Read on....

I'm in the kitchen making a slew of grilled cheese sandwiches when I realize that Twin A's chortling and babbling in the walker has stopped. "Why?" is always the first question that comes to mind when children fall silent. In this case, he was intently watching his toddler sister carefully try to pour milk out of her tumbler into the walker tray. I quickly put a stop to this and went to check on Twin B...in the Johnny Jump Up. Read on....

Yep, you guessed it. Twin B was happily bouncing around in the jump up, splashing in a big milk puddle every time he hit the floor, and cackling at the sloshing milk still in the tray.

Not a day goes by in which I cease to be thankful for hardwood floors.

No Crying Over Spilt Milk--That means you MOM!

As a mom, we all have days where we want to throw in the towel. We are going to start a running list under our new heading, Spilled Milk-NO Crying. Here is my (Carrie) top 10 hilarious antics and other random behaviors from our children that have happened through the years to get us started:

10. Spilt milk: this happens often, and always RIGHT AFTER I have mopped the floor. And usually it is done on purpose by the 2 year old, because it is just so much fun! But can be followed by the 5 yr old on accident, and then dog water bowl spilled....why do we clean, why, why, why.

9. Mud Puddles: This is often too, with boys. One day my oldest, with his neighbor friend had SO much fun in the puddles, his friend exclaimed it looked like he was covered in chocolate! My son had to strip in the garage...even his underwear was brown!

8. Sprinkling the Floor: We were letting our 2 yr. old run naked after his bath. We got involved playing a game of puppets out his closet door. He was having a blast, until he got quiet. Then, you guessed it...a puddle on the floor! Good thing we are prepared with carpet cleaner.

7. New box of cereal: After just returning from the grocery store, I was attempting to get all unloaded. My youngest was left alone on the kitchen floor with an open box of Kix (which we had probably opened halfway through shopping to appease him!) Well...you guessed it. Kix ALL over the floor. He was having a blast. He even had them stuck to his behind, so when he sat down there was periodic popping.

6. Sprinkles: My 5 yr. old likes to put sprinkles on pancakes, and we do so from time to time. On a normally hectic morning, we had eaten and I was in the living room helping him do something when it dawned on me to check on the 2 yr. old. He was at the table, half of the sprinkles dumped out on the table (big container too!) and was proceeding to face first eat them. He had a red, green and blue covered face, lips, tongue, you name it. And the sprinkles had been dumped out right on the crack where a leaf is added to the table, so now they were all over the floor as well. There was such a big pile, I scooped up a lot with a spoon.

5. When our first was almost 3 he starting wanting to chew gum. He had a peice in his mouth when we headed to church one day. We couldn't find it when we got there, and didn't think much about it in the rush. We discovered it when we got home and were changing clothes...stuck fast to the inside of his shirt. Some things just aren't worth the trouble!

4. Dirty Diaper Dilemna: On the way home from family vacation when our first was about 6 months old, we had just gotten in the car and started on our way when....sniff, sniff, uh-oh. No big deal...we pull the car over at a rest stop and attempt to change the "stinky". The "stinky" had run out of the diaper, all over the really cute outfit and onto the car seat. Where were the change of clothes....IN THE BOTTOM OF THE TRUNK, under all the beach gear. After a whole tub of baby wipes, outfitted in just a diaper, we were off on our way again. First stop: a store that carried baby clothes-he got a new outfit!

3. Mr. Fix It: Our oldest used to have a Power Wheels Jeep that he loved! He also loves copying daddy. So one day, left to his own devices, I checked on him while he was outside riding the Jeep. It had been driven up and parked on Daddy's two car ramps, the hood was up, and with Daddy's tools, he was "fixing" the inside, checking the brakes and so on. (Now if we can just teach him to do it for real!)

2. Raisin up the Nose: Yes, it does happen. Our son came to me telling me he had a raisin up the nose. I didn't believe him. I looked...it just looked dark. Then I felt...it was so far up there I had to get the tweezers out and use them. Thankfully raisins are soft and the tweezers worked!

1. 911 calls: No this was not for an accident, thank goodness. But I will never let my kids play with the phone again. When our first was barely walking, he was playing with the phone on the floor one day. Lazy mom didn't feel like getting up, and what harm could it do. Finally a call came in. It just showed a county number. When I answered the battery died, so I hung it up on the charger and figured someone would call back. 15 minutes later a knock on the door. It was a police officer, asking if someone had dialed 911. A call had been made, and there was no response on the end of the line. When they called back, and my battery died, they sent an officer to check it out. Mortified, I showed her our son, that the phone died, was back on the charger, and all was well. Until 8:30 that night, knock knock. SAME police officer. Someone had dialed 911 (this time for real) about something abuse related. It was at a close by house with almost the EXACT address as ours (people made mistakes all the time regarding the two houses). They assumed it was ours. It took my husband a few minutes to really convince the officer that nothing was wrong with us, and finally the correct address was discovered of the real call. Story doesn't end...a few days later guess who calls 911 again. Yup, our son. This time I caught it, got a lecture from the 911 operator, and have since guarded the phone from our little hands.