TV-Free Summer (Gasp!)

My neighbor, Lisa, and I did a Lenten fast from the internet that was incredibly rewarding, eye-opening, and convicting. (I wrote about it here and she wrote about it here--both are worth reading, I think.)

She and I have been mulling over the ramifications of the greater peace and less stress we experienced, the increased joy in the small things, and the restorative quality of the activities in which we engaged during the time we had hitherto been online. The result? her challenge to me to go computer (internet) free during the summer and my growing interest in having my kids go TV free during the summer.

I don't want my children to grow up addicted to the TV, to think that the TV is what you do when you are "bored" or when you're "tired" or whatever. I want them to first think of books, playing outside, sitting quietly, playing a game with their siblings, etc. They're too young to even consider playing on the computer as a way to pass time, but that's just around the corner. I want to encourage them to develop good habits and skills NOW about how to pass the time constructively and in a way that restores them, not in a way that sucks it out of them.

Anyone else in with me for this challenge? Here are my rules:

• Summer consists of June, July, August
• I'm not going to be super-Nazi here and say they can't watch it at others' houses, the gym, and so forth
• If someone is genuinely sick and truly lying around all day, then we can pull out a movie
• If it's pouring down rain and has been for more than a day, then we'll consider it.
• If they're watching TV, I'm going to watch it with them

How many times do you let them watch their favorite Super Why! or Disney movie by themselves while you clean up, talk on the phone, etc.? I do it often--I trust the content of what I let them watch by themselves, so I figure it's a "safe" activity while I get something done. But they LOVE it when I sit and watch something with them. It's instantly more of a family activity. And, I bet it will make me think twice about turning it on. If I don't "have time" or want to watch it, I'll work extra hard to find something else in which to engage their interest. That's going to mean less phone time, more creative employment of my children around the house while I clean (they can/will clean with me), and more thoughtfulness about the whole process in general.

I'm working up to it. Our former schedule was Super Why! regularly plus Dinosaur Train on occasion in the mornings and a movie in the afternoon after naptime ("movie" was generally limited to about an hour, but there were many times when it stretched beyond that!). That's WAY more TV than I ever expected to let my kids watch and there have been some legitimate uses of it with my three young ones. However, they now play pretty well together and are getting much more creative and imaginative. I've been weaning us off as follows: aiming for TV free mornings for a full week and letting the afternoon be whatever. Then, working off the afternoon by cutting back on time first. We'll go cold turkey soon, here!

Derby Day and Tradition

This past weekend was the Kentucky Derby--a long-standing ritual for many in Kentucky and the world of horse racing. For those of us who grew up reading The Black Stallion, we can envision the race and root for the underdog. Derby Day is full of ritual and tradition, from the big hats the women wear to the race to the mint juleps, Kentucky Hot Browns, and Derby Pie people eat.

How do traditions start? The best traditions are not manufactured or created; they simply grow over time, encompassing new people and new aspects with each new celebration. This year, we are having our final Derby Day party with some beloved neighbors who will move out of state in 10 days.

Our Derby Day tradition started a few years ago (no one knows exactly what year) and was merely a response to some musings about the grand Kentucky Derby tradition and the desire to try a real mint julep. We watched the race just to lend some credibility to our mint julep toast and the tradition was off... running down the track... rounding the first curve.... You get the picture.

Each year, we've added something to the festivities (first, we added Derby Pie... the world's easiest pie to make; second, we added Kentucky Hot Browns--also easy to make; this year, we're adding some extra neighbors). One thing has remained essentially the same: none of us follow horse racing, so we pool our combined ignorance of the race and its contestants while we gather around the TV for 2 minutes of glorious horse racing fame. We raise our mint juleps high, cheer on whoever is the underdog or has a fun name, marvel at the strange world of horse racing and the tiny jockeys, let the kids eat while we chat, and then finish our meal--thoroughly enjoying the good company and the fact that this has become an annual tradition.

That's how the best traditions are: they are organic and grow along with your family. Don't waste too much time creating the perfect experience that you then hope to replicate each year with exactitude. Just go on vacation, celebrate a holiday, do something fun. Let the good times roll and cherish the moment. If something is significant enough to repeat, you will find a way. It might even be better the next go 'round!

Shameless Indoctrination

A young child's favorite question is "why?"

Do you roll your eyes to this nonstop question, or do you take the opportunity for what I refer to as "shameless indoctrination"?

The first "why" gets answered with a matter-of-fact statement that is creating the default setting for my child's beliefs about God, the world, themselves, and morality. The second "why" gets a more general answer to the effect that either "God tells us in the Bible" or "because I said so." End of discussion.

But let's unpack that first opportunity for shameless indoctrination (and, shameless indoctrination doesn't need a why question to be practiced; it's just that the why question provides SO MUCH opportunity since it occurs SO FREQUENTLY).

In our house, we have a daughter who's a mere 18 months older than her twin brothers. You can imagine that there's been quite an education concerning the anatomical differences in boys and girls, among other "life lessons." When we were changing the boys' diapers, bathing the three children, and potty training the boys, myriad questions arose from my daughter. The answer? An unapologetic statement that "God made boys and girls different. One of those differences is in the way he made them look. Girls are made this way and boys are made that way." That paves the way for future discussions of the other ways God made boys and girls different. Similarly, when my daughter stated that she was going to marry Daddy someday, I told her he was my handsome prince and she'd have to marry someone else (but Daddy would always be her daddy). She then said she'd marry me. To that, I matter of factly stated that girls don't marry each other. Girls marry boys--1 girl to 1 boy. See? Setting that foundation before they even know it's an issue in our society. When she comes face to face with homosexual "marriage," my prayer is that by then, the truth of God's Word regarding marriage between one man and one woman will be so ingrained in her little brain--the default setting, as it were--that she will not question God's standard. Instead, she'll recognize the sin in the world.

In another interchange, after my daughter had gone with my husband to buy me flowers, she said she would buy the boys (her brothers) flowers when they were bigger. I told her that was a sweet idea, but girls don't buy boys flowers. That's the boys' job; when they get bigger, they'll buy flowers for the special girls in their lives (including us, hopefully!). See? We're setting those expectations high. When she has a crush on a boy later (hopefully MUCH later) that doesn't treat her well, ideally she'll notice it because we've been laying a foundation of respect and proper treatment between men and women.

Toddlers and preschoolers don't need the paragraph answers older children and adults want. A simple statement or two is usually enough. Why not use this golden opportunity to set the foundation for God's created order? Morality, gender roles, even "religion" and "church" are being called into question and given fuzzy boundaries throughout society. Prepare your children now by given them a strong foundation in God's Word and His standards.

I need hardly point out that the Children's Catechism and Scripture memory are part of this training!

Gospel Driven Discipleship

I went to a seminar over the weekend on Gospel driven discipleship. I was typing up some points for my women's Bible study so I thought I would post them here. This doesn't really do the info justice, but it gives you the main points (which are still good.)

Gospel Driven Discipleship:
(Note: reference 2 Timothy 2:1-2 and Titus 2) When the Gospel is a hole of you, it will propel you forwards.

1. Doesn't focus on outward behavior.
2. Focuses/pursues the soul/heart.
3. HAS to be spirit driven.
4. Has a willingness to walk into the darkness of our own hearts and others.
5. Boldness to speak the truth-not just give easy answers.
6. Initiate and persist (especially with younger ages/students)
7. With Children:
a. Immerse them in scripture.
b. Live it everyday.
c. Our God is not going anywhere.
d. Make your home a haven.
e. Have kids be attracted to Jesus in your life.
f. Be available.
8. Stop and listen: help those around you where they are.
9. Be sure to use the word every time. "Nothing is a stumbling block to the man who has the word of God in him." -Charles Spurgeon.
10: Other references: Psalm 78:1-4, Deut. 6: 5-9, I Thess. 2:8

The Great Silence (and the Fast)

I don't post something on this blog every day by a long shot. However, I don't usually let 6 weeks go by; I've rarely let 6 days go by without putting something on full tummies. My neighbor, Lisa, and I committed to a Lenten fast from the internet/computer this year. I'll link up to her blog reflection on our "fast" when she posts her reflections--she "interviewed" us last week with a few questions. Suffice it to say for now that we are truly glad we set aside this time and have learned a lot about ourselves, our society, and technology. I highly recommend a similar experiment for anyone reading this! In fact, it's taken nearly a week since the fast ended to even post something; I'm obviously not overly eager to jump back on the internet/blog bandwagon.

Our individual rules were different. I allowed myself more flexibility than she did. She checked email once a week and did no other internet-related activities (or, that was the plan--she'll discuss why and when she "broke" her fast in her reflection). My rules were to check email only once a day and do only internet-related activities that were absolutely necessary and couldn't be done by any other method. The primary cause of this last rule was simply that we have an internet-only bank; to pay bills and do basic banking, I must use the internet. As much as possible, I tried to stay away from my food blog--choosing to use recipes that I had in other places rather than access my stash of favorite recipes on the blog.

So, what did I learn? Here's a short list:

1. The internet/email has some definitely legitimate uses (such as the aforementioned banking, getting in touch with my hubby via email when phone is not available, etc.).

2. The internet/email is a big time waster and was not contributing to my life in proportion to its presence in my life (that is, the opportunity cost of spending time on the internet usually left a deficit).

3. Some hobbies and ways of spending time are restorative in nature whereas others are merely passive. In other words, playing the piano, going for a walk, sewing, gardening, painting, writing a letter, reading a book--all of these restore the hobbyist in ways that surfing the web and watching TV do not. They function just as well for stress relief as TV/internet does, but they also restore or give back to the hobbyist. The mind has a chance to process the day, mull over details, plan an upcoming event, wander at will, enjoy the creative process, etc. when a person is engaged in something creative or naturally related. The mind is turned off and put to sleep when internet surfing/TV watching--and when the mind wakes back up, it still needs to process everything! This leads to remarkable mental clutter.

4. Margins are necessary and procrastination is NOT. If we fill all the little 10-15 minutes spaces before leaving for an activity, between two different activities, or just a "boring" little spot with internet surfing or email or whatever, then we're not leaving ourselves any margin for error. Instead, during this past 6 weeks, if I had a 10-15 spot of time, I'd get us all ready to leave at a more leisurely pace; I might fold a load of laundry or make a doctor's appointment/phone call or empty the dishwasher or.... Then, when something did come up (a "boo boo" that needed a bandaid, an emergency trip out of town, a friend needing to talk via phone), I was ready to deal with it because everything else had been taken care of along the way. I also got a lot of little projects completed because I used those little margins of time in a better manner.

It's worth taking some time to evaluate your use of technology!

Happy Heart Day!

Valentine's Day is a made up day by the Hallmark folk, or so my husband claims. All humbug-ness aside :-), it's a very fun day to celebrate when you have children in the house. In addition to adding in a little extra romance this weekend, celebrate in some ways your whole family will enjoy as well. How?

1. DON'T spend a fortune getting them "Valentines." Come on, people, those huge Valentine's Day teddy bears and large boxes of candy ARE made up by the cards and gifts people.

2. DO show your loved ones you care by doing something extra special. How?

• cards: make them or buy them--long distance family members especially appreciate handmade cards from their little relatives; buy or make cards for your kids
• sweet treats: buy a small bag of pink and white M&M's or something special--it won't take much.
• homemade sweet treats: more fun than candy is making your own heart shaped cookies and decorating them with the little folks in your life
• heart-shapes: you can cut Jell-O jigglers, biscuits, sandwiches, etc. in heart shapes; don't limit yourself to cookies only!
• chocolate: try some chocolate fondue for dessert or make homemade chocolate pudding or hot chocolate. Be sure to include whipped cream and sprinkles for extra special treats! You can even whip up a decadent batch of chocolate chip pancakes and top them with whipped cream.

Savoring a Cup of Tea: Colossians 1:9-14

This is a terrific passage to pray through for yourself, your husband, your children, family members, friends, .... It says it all. This is one that Sharon Jaynes, author of Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, recommends praying for your husband. I pray this for my children and myself, too! I certainly need endurance and patience with joy. I'd love my children to be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and understanding. What a delight if our family all walks in a manner worthy of the Lord!

⁹And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, ¹⁰so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. ¹¹ May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, ¹² giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. ¹³He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Savoring a Cup of Tea: 1 Corinthians 13

Posted by Betsy

This passage is standard fare at weddings, on Christian Valentine's Day cards, and in collections of Scripture passages. But how many of us really meditate on this passage, pray through it, or seek to apply it to our own families? Paul gives us no qualifiers on this statement of Christian love. There is no "love is patient except when little Johnny is refusing for the 50th time to eat his peas." Or, "love keeps no record of wrongs except when hubby forgets my birthday again." Or "it is not irritable except when you don't get enough sleep the night before." No. Paul writes this beautiful statement of what love is with no qualifiers. Pray through this passage, asking the Lord to enable you to love those within your own home first. (Passage from ESV and copied from Bible.com)

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part,¹⁰but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹²For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

¹³So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

No-Frills-Limited-Selection Grocery Stove v. Huge-Giant-Super-Sized-1-City-Block-Mega Grocery Store

A new Kroger recently opened in my part of town. Yippee, right? Our old Kroger was pretty old. 40,000 square feet and certainly ample for our needs, but not for our wants (other Krogers had artisan bread, sushi counters, fresh fish/seafood, and pretty flowers). So, when the new Kroger was being advertised, I was elated: closer to my house, bigger (83,000 square feet), bulk food, organic food, better produce, etc. etc. etc.

Guess what? I shop at Aldi more than ever now. Why? I daresay Carrie would echo the following sentiments, but these thoughts spring from a conversation I had with my sister-in-law, Erin, over Christmas. She is also lugging a toddler through the grocery store, trying to feed her family healthy and economically, and doesn't want to make any more trips to a grocery store than necessary (just like Carrie and me).

Why is the huge-giant-city-block-sized grocery store not my favorite? Why do I shop at places like Aldi, the produce store down the road, and even the Chinese grocery store? Some things to consider:

1. Smaller store means fewer choices which invariably helps my grocery budget (not as much temptation to buy things not on the list!)
2. Smaller store means shorter shopping trip (a bonus if you're dragging young children along).
3. Smaller store means less distraction for kiddos--not as my toys/candy/etc. to induce cries of, "Mommy, can we get that?"
4. Smaller store means easier kid-management for the kids that are old enough to walk with you. After all, they can only get 1 or 2 aisles away and you can still them even if they're "across the store."
5. Smaller store means more friendly staff. The same few people work there and you get more personalized attention or at the very least, a friendlier cashier. (In fact, this morning my produce store folks gave me free apples and significantly reduced bell peppers; this happens frequently. Of course, I've been shopping there roughly once a week for 4.5 years and the same folks have worked there the whole time.)

Ironically enough, Sam's is another place I don't mind shopping when I have my kids along. It's actually a similar experience to the others except that I'm doing more walking. The aisles are so industrial that there are few impulse buys targeted to kids (with the exception of the gigantic candy aisle that I avoid). I can get in and out in a predictable amount of time and am not swayed to buy (too many) things that aren't on my list.

If you're dreading grocery store shopping and/or need to find a better solution for your family, consider 1 or 2 trips to smaller stores during the week and a big stocking up trip to a mainstream grocery store 1 or 2 times a month. You might be surprised at how much better things go even though it seems counterintuitive to shop at a store with limited selection.

Savoring a Cup of Tea: Philippians 2: 1-11

Posted by Betsy

Yesterday, I mentioned the need to pray through Scripture. It helps us pray for the things that really matter, for one thing. Another benefit is that we KNOW these things are what God wants. For instance, take the famous Philippians 2 passage about having the same attitude as Christ. Have you prayed through this passage for yourself? Are you looking to the interests of those in your household as you look to your own? Are you seeking to be a bondservant for those in your household? Are you putting others (in your own household) above yourself? Are you considering them more significant than yourself? I really fail in some of these areas--after all, aren't I important, too? Well, this is what the Lord has called us to be like. In this day and age of "me time," get reoriented by praying through Philippians 2: 1-11. Feel free to make pronouns more personal. Feel free to insert specific names in place of generic words such as "others." Here it is, in the ESV, copied from Bible.com (a terrific resource--you can print off any passage!). I added the italics.

¹So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, ²complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. ³Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,

⁶ who, though he was in the form of God,

did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,

⁷but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,

being born in the likeness of men.

⁸And being found in human form,

he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,

even death on a cross.

⁹ Therefore God has highly exalted him and

bestowed on him the name that is above every name,

¹⁰so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

New Year's Goals 2010

Posted by Betsy

Last year I wrote a post about making New Year's goals as opposed to New Year's resolutions. This year, I thought I'd post some of my personal goals for this year (and the goals of our family). I like to keep it simple: 1-3 goals per category. We focus on the most important/desired outcomes.

A Key Theme for me here is to use what I have, keep it simple, and focus on the important stuff. We could reorganize our house and buy lots of new organizing stuff in the process... or use what we have. I could buy new clothes, or lose 5 pounds and gain an existing closet-ful of stuff I already like. I could reinvent the wheel with a new Bible-reading plan, but I'm going to stick to the homework for my group Bible study for now (since it gets me into the Word 6 days a week!). Etc.

Spiritual:

• pray DAILY
• read Westminster Confession and study guide with my friend Sarah D.
• keep up with my group Bible study (this spring, we're doing Esther and then James)

Health/Fitness:

• exercise 2x a week
• lose 5 pounds (last year, I lost 7. Surely I can lose the last 5 this year!!!)

Household:

• Basic chores done weekly: trash emptied, bathrooms cleaned, floors swept/vacuumed
• Key surfaces kept clear (dresser, dining room table, desk, kitchen counters, entry way table). This is a biggie for me, folks.
• Maintain habits begun in 2009: kitchen completely cleaned every night (all dishes put away, etc.), laundry day, etc.

Office/Budget:

• Schedule all bills/pay everything in full by due date (no minimum payments here!)
• Pay off one of the two remaining loans we have (one is a student loan and one a car loan)
• Acquire better life insurance

Personal:

• Simplify: work on having only what we like/enjoy and getting rid of the rest!
• Figure out school plans for me (and get applications in/gain acceptance if appropriate)*
• Read 10 new books--all from my own bookshelves (we have lots I've never read)

Family:

• activity/event once a month (this can be raking leaves together; we're not talking about a big trip)
• get outside (all of us) every day that weather permits!
• all of us sitting through church together by year-end (boys are still in nursery)

Kids:

• Work on memory! (review catechism, learn some new ones, and memorize verses from Sunday School and Bible study)
• 1 art/creative activity a week
• get outside!!

Hobbies/Crafts:

• Photo books for 2009 and 2010
• Finish sewing projects I've already committed to.... (ahem...)
• Keep it simple.... (i.e. look in my own cookbooks for recipes before spending forever browsing online for the perfect recipe... plant only what I really want to eat/harvest in the garden--and not feel the need to fill up the entire gardening space.... )

Relevant Past Posts

It might be too late for these suggestions, but here are some ideas (and reminders) of good ideas for kid-gifts, teacher gifts, and just plain ol' Christmas/holiday reminders.

• Wrapping Gifts for Young Children
• Traveling Over Christmas with Children
• Interesting Nativity Facts
• Top 5 Consumable Gifts
• Enjoying the Holidays
• Top 5: Holiday Gifts for Teachers
• Top 5: Birthday Gifts for Children
• Music to the Ears! (list of good children's music--these make great gifts!)

Finally, consider some alternative gifts for children and their parents this year: give a Children's Catechism, a children's Bible, a family devotional guide, or other spiritually enriching gifts that bring the parents and children together. Gifts which enable parents to nurture their children spiritually, to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, are some of the best things you can give!

These Ornaments are for the Birds!

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that every little craft for kids this time of year involves food, tacky ornaments, more stickers, and so on.

If you want to do something a little bit different, something that is accessible even to fairly young children, try some birdseed ornaments. These will be hung outside, the birds will enjoy them, and you won't be stuck with more clutter inside your house. They'd make great gifts for gardeners, bird watchers, or teachers.

This "recipe" is from Birds and Blooms magazine (which is a very fun little magazine, by the way). The website gives two different methods of making these; I confess I haven't tried them yet, so I'm not sure which way works better. It seems to me that pressing the mixture in the cookie cutters might work better and/or be easier on little hands? I'll give you an update after we make these tomorrow.

Here are the ingredients/cooking method:

• 1/3 c. gelatin
• 1 1/2 c. water
• 8 c. birdseed

Combine gelatin and water in a pot over low heat. Stir until gelatin is melted and clear. Remove from heat and stir in birdseed, making sure all seeds are coated with gelatin mixture. Fill cookie cutters with seed mixture or pat mixture into jelly roll pan. Refrigerate for a couple of hours, until firm. Cut shapes, if needed, out of the big flat mixture or pop them out of the cookie cutters if you went that route. Let dry on a baking rack for 3 days.

Enjoy! The magazine link above has other ideas as well.

A Different Perspective

Christmas is FAST approaching! Many of us are focusing on celebrating Christ's birth, and teaching our kids about it. However, I also challenge you to remember something else. Two years ago, my husband and I lost a little baby boy at 16 weeks on Christmas Day. It was a very gut wrenching process. At the time I was faced with two perspectives. One was "come quickly Lord!". The other was as Paul puts it so well in Philippians, "for me to live is Christ, to die is gain." My work on earth was not finished. I had two boys at home who needed guidance still in their Christian life.

Many times we wait until it's almost too late to minister/evangelize with someone. This also hit Betsy recently with someone they are close too. Faced with an impending death, they needed to speed up the evangelistic process with their friends before it was too late.

SO-I challenge you to #1: Remember Christ was born so he could die-we should almost be celebrating the resurrection at this time of year too-instead of waiting for Easter. And #2: Think of those friends or loved ones who you could minister too as well. Make sure they know not only that Christ was born on Christmas (or the day we have set aside for it), but that the reason he came was to die to forgive sin, once and for all!

Supporting Your Husband: a Dose of Perspective

Perhaps you have a number of items on your "to do" list this time of year that revolve about creating the perfect Christmas for people, whether that be buying gifts, making gifts, sending out the perfect Christmas card photo, or decorating your house to the max. I know many women who, like myself, enjoy making things for people and are also on a budget. For us, Christmas "to do" lists seem larger than life: make Christmas stockings for the kids next week, make candy for Johnny's Sunday School teacher this weekend, buy the Christmas tree TONIGHT because it's on sale, decorate said Christmas tree TOMORROW because Christmas party is THIS WEEKEND, wrap secret Santa present for hubby's work TODAY, order photo cards THIS WEEK so they'll get in the mail on time, and on and on and on....

Where are our families in all this mess? Specifically, where is your husband? It's easy at any time of the year to start grumbling and complaining about being a stay at home mom, watching enviously as hubby drives off to work BY HIMSELF in that car with a glorious commute to work that doesn't involve any little voices whining, saying "Mommy," and pointing out every single last dump truck on the way. But think about it for a minute: yes, your husband may get more "alone time" than you. Yes, he can run in the store for something quick and not have to load/unload children. Yes, he gets to work out on his way home from work. Yes, he gets to have adult conversation any time he wants it.

BUT, we stay-at-home moms have some things that are just as good--and probably which our husbands envy. Instead of complaining this season about all that you have to do, think about the following:

• Is your to do list full of things YOU have decided and/or want to do? How many of them can you farm out to others or... just not do? What is really essential for your family's celebration of our Lord's birth? (If you need a reality check here, go read Little House on the Prairie).
• Your mental to do list is rarely created by outside deadlines. If you don't get the laundry done today, who's really going to care? In contrast, if your husband doesn't meet his work deadlines on time, there can be real issues. I can guarantee that you and your hard-working husband both have stress and his is probably worse--his is put on by outside forces whereas ours is often self-created.
• When you're "stuck at home" all day long, do you sit down and check your email? Read a blog? Call a friend? Work on a sewing project here and there? Plan your garden for next year? Work on a craft with your child? Bake some cookies for the fun of it? Go outside to play with your kids? All of those things are not only optional, but usually they are for the sake of enjoyment. How many times does your husband, while at work, get to talk on the phone to a friend? Take a quick walk for some fresh air? Have some freshly baked cookies? Spend quality time with a family member? Probably not very often.
• Are you still "working" when your husband gets home? If so, then I'd suggest that you cross off some items from that to do list without doing them. I try very hard not to keep working after my husband gets home from work. I make sure the kitchen is cleaned up (often doing as many dishes before we eat as possible) and the kids are in bed. That is it. Sometimes, I'll fold laundry if we're watching a TV show. If I work on a crafty project, my Bible study, or something like that in the evening, I try my hardest to make sure it's a night when he'll be home late or he has to work from home (he used to work from home more when he was a professor; thankfully he doesn't bring much work home anymore). I do not stay up late baking cookies, writing thank you notes, doing housework, etc. in lieu of spending time with my husband.

Ladies, don't let your Christmas wishes/hopes/to do lists take away from your time with your husband. Don't you think he's feeling the stress of working hard in order to pay for the perfect Christmas? Make sure you include him in things if he's interested. Save decorating the tree or making that gingerbread house with the kids until the weekend so he can take part. RELAX about all of your personal deadlines. If the Christmas cards are late, so what. Making Christmas meaningful and "fun" for our families includes making it that way for our husbands as well as making it that way for our kids.

Advent: The Best Gift Ever

As many of you know, today is the first day of the Advent season-the period of time leading up to the day we celebrate Christ's birth on December 25. Though many of you have done advent calendars in the past, this one is a little different. The ladies in my church got together and made an advent calendar that starts today. What is different is that the verses for each day start at the beginning of the Bible-showing how we can see the coming of the Messiah from the dawn of time. I can't write the whole booklet for you here, but I will give you the key verses for each day and the passages in the Bible.

Nov. 29: Genesis 1:31; Genesis 1:1-3:24
Nov. 30: Genesis 9:11; Genesis 6: 11-22, 7:17-8:12, 8:20-9:17
Dec. 1: Genesis 12:2; Genesis 12:1-7, 15:1-6
Dec. 2: Genesis 22:18; Genesis 22:1-19
Dec. 3: Genesis 28:14; Genesis 27-28
Dec. 4: Genesis 50:20; Genesis 37, 39:1-50:21
Dec. 5: Exodus 3:15; Exodus 2:1-4:20
Dec. 6: Exodus 12:13; Exodus 12:1-14:31
Dec. 7: Exodus 19:4-5; Exodus 19:1-20:20
Dec. 8: Joshua 1:9; Joshua 1:1-11 and 6:1-20
Dec. 9: Judges 7:9; Judges 2:6-23; 6:1-6; 6:11-8:28
Dec. 10: 1 Samuel 9:16; 1 Samuel 3:1-21, 7:1-8:22, 9:15-10:9
Dec. 11: 2 Samuel 7:8; 1 Samuel 16-17, 2 Samuel 5:1-5, 7:1-17
Dec. 12: 1 Kings 18:36; 1 Kings 17:1-18, 18: 17-46
Dec. 13: 2 Kings 19:19; 2 Kings 18:1-19:19, 19:32-37
Dec. 14: Isaiah 9:6; Isaiah 1:10-20, 6:1-13, 8:11-9:7
Dec. 15: Jeremiah 9:7; Jeremiah 1:410, 2:4-13, 7:1-15, 8:22-9:11
Dec. 16: Habakkuk 2:1a; Habakkuk 1-2:1, 3:16-18
Dec. 17: Nehemiah 1:5; Nehemiah 1:1-2:8, 6:15-16, 13:10-22
Dec. 18: Luke 1:76-77; Luke 1:57-80
Dec. 19: Luke 3:16; Luke 3:1-22
Dec. 20: Luke 1:33; Luke 1:26-38
Dec. 21: Luke 1:48-50; Luke 1:39-56
Dec. 22: Matthew 1:22-23; Matthew 1:19-25
Dec. 23: Matthew 2:6; Matthew 2:1-12
Dec. 24: Luke 2:10-11; Luke 2: 1-20
Dec. 25: John 1:12; John 1:1-18

Don't Skip Those Naps!

As we enter into our busiest season of the year, let me remind any parents of young children out there: don't skip the kids' naps! Sleep is one of the body's best defenses against illness. Sleep does a world of good for correcting/maintaining cheery dispositions. Well rested children can "flex" a bit better when spending all day at a distant relative's house. Well rested children eat better. Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than a whiny, cranky, sick kiddo! So, don't let your schedule get so busy that you start sacrificing those important naptimes. Use that time to get ahead on your gift wrapping, baking, or online shopping (or take a nap, yourself!).

Pandora Radio

Looking for some non-commercial-filled holiday music? Want a radio station that plays classic Christmas songs as well as pop Christmas songs? Try Pandora. It's an internet based radio station for which you create an account/profile. Then, you create "stations" based on songs you already know and like. It will then play a "radio station" based on that song--all similar sounding songs. My husband and I are big fans and have an Allison Kraus station, an "Open the Eyes of My Heart" station that's all Christian praise music (yes, for those of you who know my hubby, HE created that station!), a couple of jazz stations, a U2 based station, and so forth.

But now... I've created a terrific Christmas music station. I typed in "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" and picked the version by the Cincinatti Pops. So far this morning, commercial-free, we've heard "The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies," "Good Christian Men Rejoice," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," and so forth--all classic Christmas songs, some instrumental, some sung--but all performed in a traditional style. My children are getting into it and everything.

So, when you're ready to escape the endless retail commercials surrounding the holidays, try Pandora. (There are occasional commercials, but VERY few).

p.s. Now a handbell version of "Angels We Have Heard on High" is on--lovely!

p.s. Now, it's "Joy to the World" performed by the Prague Philharmonic.... does it get any better than this?

Thanksgiving: Proper Perspective

The Pilgrims and the Indians, corn, turkey, pumpkin.... that's pretty much the image most of us have of the first Thanksgiving. (Thanks, Charlie Brown!)

While that is true, it is also true that the first Thanksgiving was very much a thanks giving to God for bringing the Pilgrims through that year, allowing them fellowship with the Indians, and providing them with food for the coming winter. Each group came together sharing of their bounty (and sharing their traditional recipes!).

This Thanksgiving, remember those first European settlers mixing with the American natives and their desire to thank the Lord. Did they have their favorite dishes at that Thanksgiving? Probably not. Did they have all their favorite people around? Most definitely not (in fact, many had died in the year previous). But they did have much reason to give thanks to God.

This Thanksgiving, Carrie and I won't be with our parents--for the first time since we left home, neither of us will be at the big family celebration that my mother's family has every year. We'll both be eating some different foods than are usual, but we will still have a wonderful day! We'll still have much reason to give thanks and to enjoy the fellowship of those with whom we're eating (gorging might be a better term, eh?).

The Thanksgiving meal we have with my mother's side of the family ALWAYS includes the following: turkey and cornbread dressing (homemade and my grandmother's recipe), gravy (for the dressing, of course), cranberry relish, some sort of sweet potato dish (used to be spiked with bourbon), rolls, custard fruit salad, pecan pie and chocolate ice box cake. It wasn't until both of us married that we started including pumpkin pie because our husbands like it (I'd never tasted pumpkin pie until I got to college!).

This year, here's what my immediate family will be doing. We'll get together with good friends, onecouple of which is from Louisiana and the other from Pennsylvania. Did we all grow up with different food on our Thanksgiving table? You bet. But, here's our conglomerate menu: turkey, cranberry relish, stuffing (those Yankees :) ), hashbrown casserole, sweet potato souffle, green bean casserole, rolls, pumpkin cheesecake, pecan pie, apple cranberry pie. A nice marriage of different traditions--in fact, I'll be bringing the pies and one recipe is my mother's and the other is my mother in law's. Even our appetizers reflect our diversity: crab dip, Chex Mix, artichokes....

So, don't sweat it this year if things aren't happening exactly as they always have in the past. It's the fellowship around a bountiful table and taking time out to give thanks to the Lord that's important. Make the most of it--our country is unique in that we take an entire day off from work to give thanks. Pretty neat, I think.

Operation Christmas Child

First of all, it's not too late!!! If you're familiar with this ministry/organization/charity and would like to still send a shoebox, you have until MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23.

Operation Christmas Child is one of many charitable giving opportunities that crop up this time of year. It's a significant part of Samaritan's Purse Ministries, begun by Franklin Graham. Why am I mentioning this particular opportunity among the thousands that present themselves?

1. It's a very tangible way for your children to participate in giving to someone else.

2. It's a reliable way to give something tangible to needy children (no one's going to embezzle tubes of toothpaste or Dollar Tree earrings).

3. It's a Christian ministry; the gospel is presented along with every shoebox.

4. It's easy: pick an age group and a gender that you would like to give something to. Go shopping and/or make something. Pack a shoebox and drop it off. (OK, this isn't quite as easy as giving a check, but it is easier than some of the Angel Tree requests I've shopped for in the past!)

5. It's got a big bang for the buck. You can fill a shoebox fairly inexpensively ($10-$20 should do the trick), attach your $7 donation (helps cover shipping and such), and make a child's Christmas. In the grand scheme of things, this is a relatively small amount of money with a big yield.

How does it work? You and your children fill a shoe box or similar sized plastic container with age- and gender-appropriate items (there's a list of recommendations on the website), wrap the shoe box, and drop it off at a location in your area (a list of these also on the website). Many churches and schools sponsor this, so your child may already have been given a flyer. If you missed the school/church deadline, it's not too late to drop a box off at a donation spot in your city! Then, Samarian's Purse ships the boxes to children around the world, presenting the gospel after the children open their presents. There are all kinds of heart warming videos on the website. Now, you can also "track" your box. If you make your $7 donation online, you'll get an email once your box is delivered. I think that's pretty cool.